The first date can be a nerve-wracking experience. What to wear, what to say, what to do… these are all the things that make first dates both exciting and terrifying. But when you go out on that first date where everything seems to go just right—your date is laughing at all of your jokes and you’re bringing your best self forward—things can heat up really quickly.
And this is where you find yourself at a crossroads: Do you or do you not bring up the possibility of first date sex?
Sex on the first date (or just casual sex, in general) isn’t as taboo as it once was. People are getting more vocal about their sexual experiences, and this includes people who want to have sex without the commitment of a relationship. Which can be done ethically by being firm and transparent about your boundaries, not treating the other person as disposable just because they will be in your life short-term, and generally being a good human being that treats other humans with respect, agency, and nuance.
But if you’re vibing with your date, and you’re looking to take it to the next level, it can be helpful to know what sex positions to try that keep awkwardness at a minimum. (Let’s be real: the possibility of sex being awkward at some point, no matter how well you prepare or how well you know the person, can’t be completely eliminated. Still, you want to impress your partner.) Assuming that you’re already having a conversation with your date about it and being clear about what things can look like afterward, one more challenge lies ahead of you: How exactly do you do it?
Rest assured. Here are 10 sex positions that you can whip out of your arsenal the next time that first date sex (or the next opportunity to have sex) arises. The best part? Awkwardness can be kept to a minimum, and if you have more sexual experiences with this person, you can only go up from here.
You on Top
You know yourself better than anyone else. And when having first date sex, it can be hard to try new things with your partner for the night because they just haven’t had the experience to know what feels good and what gets you off. So why not be bold and take the lead yourself? Being on top can be empowering since all the attention is on you, and if you lean more domme (or want to embrace that side of you more), this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
Doggy Style
A classic for a reason. Doggy-style is perfect if you want to show off from behind, fully on display, or if you’re into some strap-on play with your partner for the night. Similar to being on top, there’s something sexy about being worshipped from behind.
Standing Up
Let’s say that you’re into the idea of first date sex, but don’t want to bother with going all the way home to get down. Vertical sex is a good option to consider if your first date sex is turning more into a quickie where the possibility of getting caught only adds to the excitement.
Having sex standing up can also be accommodated easily if you have discomfort or difficulty just standing on both legs the whole time. Use the props in your environment (a bathroom or stall, step stool, whatever) to help make shifting positions easier. And don’t be afraid to get creative here! Being up against the wall, you have the option to face your partner or face away to add a level of intimacy and vulnerability. It’s all up to you.
Reverse cowgirl
Another good option for showing off your assets is reverse cowgirl. Give your partner a glorious view of your backside. (And for extra points, you can show off your back, the nape of your neck, and whatever another back part of your body that doesn’t get enough love but should.)
The Spoon
Are you usually shyer the first time you have sex with a new partner? Spooning can be a good way to ease into it, and yet still control how you get off. Spooning gets a bad rep because it’s seen as tame, but you can easily make it anything but.
You do it by lying on your side, either behind or in front of your partner. This gives you a great position to do some exploration as foreplay and coreplay, and to discover your partner’s erogenous zones. You can touch all over their body while having a mellow, relaxed sexual atmosphere that can lay the groundwork for other positions later on (or even later that night) if you want.
Reclining
Let’s say that you want to get down and give your partner the best view of how to get you off, or you want to really see what gets them off? Reclining is a must-have position in your arsenal.
While one partner leans back on pillows (and can lift themselves up with their elbows), they put their feet flat on the bed and spread their legs. Meanwhile, the other can crawl up the body, going in with whatever feels best.
This can be good for foreplay or for more intimate-feeling sex. It’s also compatible with whatever kind of sex you want to have: whether it’s fingering, receiving oral, or incorporating some toys, you can do it while reclining. And the best part? The focus is on one partner at a time, making it easier to get off, give feedback, and have your best orgasm possible. A win-win, right?
Sitting
This is similar to standing up—an adjustable position that also puts the focus on one partner at a time. While one partner is sitting on a flat surface, the other can either stand or be on their knees, depending on what kind of sex you’re having. This also works well for anything from strap-on sex to some hot oral, and it’s a good low-pressure position if one partner takes a longer time to orgasm.
Ride Their Face
Need we say more?
Leaning In
Similar to riding your partner’s face, you can take it up a notch and raise your hips off the bed or surface to meet them up. The giving partner can support you with their arms, or by putting a pillow underneath your lower body. Then just lie back and relax as fingers, a tongue, or a toy (whatever your partner is using to pleasure you) runs over your body.
The Two-For-One
I’m calling it this because you’re essentially doing two things at once: massaging your partners’ chest and nipples while also stroking or fingering them. This is also the perfect position to get hot and heavy with a good makeout session when things really heat up between you.
What positions are you excited to try the next time you have first date sex?
