Queer Celebs We Want To See Billie Eilish Date

Billie is hungry for lunch, and these celesbians could satisfy her craving.

It’s been a month since 22-year-old queer icon Billie Eilish famously shared with Rolling Stone how she “wanted [her] face in a vagina.” (Stars! They’re just like us!). In celebratory honor, I took it upon myself to come up with several queer celebrities I’d love to see her  on the red carpet with.

Disclaimer: This list is purely for fun and entertainment purposes. That being said, I did a thorough amount of research finding queer people around Billie’s age that haven’t posted a significant other in a long time. I’m not actively pushing for these pairings to happen in real life (mostly because I want to date them first) but wouldn’t it be cool if they did?

Ayo Edebiri, 28

 

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This queer, award-winning star of The Bear has truly become a gay icon. She showed audiences how hilarious she is after starring in Bottoms as a down-bad, unpopular lesbian, a role I’m sure we all related to at some point. If the two successful stars combined their awards, they would nearly reach EGOT status. Watching those two walk hand-in-hand would be an awesome, worlds-colliding moment.

Emily Engstler, 24

 

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It’s a rite of passage for a queer woman to fall for a female athlete. WNBA star Emily Engstler has a 6’5” wingspan, perfect for wrapping her arms around Billie. She publicly confirmed her sexuality earlier this year, while taking part in a TikTok trend.  Billie’s past partners Brandon Adams and Jesse Rutherford prove she has a type: tall and tattooed. Emily is both, not to mention she towers over the two men at 6’1”. And most importantly, she’d provide Billie with the hookup for even more basketball shorts.

Megan Thee Stallion, 29

 

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Ever since Billie commented, “Megan I’m literally free whenever,” on Thee Stallion’s TikTok post, I’ve wanted there to be chemistry between the two. Now, this ~could~ be a silly-friendly dynamic, but if I had a friend as badass as Tina Snow, I’d crush. I know Billie would put Meg on the pedestal she deserves to be on, but this will-they-won’t-they would have to get married because I don’t know if we could survive either of their breakup albums.

Chappell Roan, 26

When I asked my queer friends who Billie should date, the main answer was Chappell Roan. Over the past few years, she’s evolved from writing about kissing girls to experiencing relationships with women, and I think she and Billie might find comfort in the shared experiences of navigating their sexual identity amidst the spotlight.  Billie’s hallmark masculine edge that she brings to every red carpet would play perfectly with Chappell’s over-the-top campy drag persona. Will we see a future where Billie has a bright pink lipstick mark on her cheek? 

Kehlani, 28

 

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I was nervous to add Kehlani to this list for fear that she and Billie may be too powerful as a couple. They both prioritize being true to themselves over conforming to industry standards- Billie has always been candid about her struggles with mental health and Kehlani has never shied away from sharing her personal experiences either. I think they would take comfort in each others honesty along with being the gayest pair to walk the earth. 

My therapist, (age unknown, but she’s young and hot)

Portrait Of Female Psychologist In Office

With a good job and a great head on her shoulders, my queer therapist would make a sensible partner for Billie. She’s great at communicating, as proven by how frequently I text her, and it would be really underground and cool to see Billie with someone outside of the industry. I mean, at least that’s what my therapist says.

If none of these dream pairings work out, I I’d tell Billie to try her luck at either The Woods on Wednesday, or maybe just knock on my apartment door. We all know how awesome and sexy growing into our sapphic identities is, and I’m so excited to watch Billie do the same–with the whole celeb scene at her fingertips.


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