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I also love any excuse to set a sparkly, fresh intention. To take a long, unfiltered, honest look at the past 365 days and reflect on all of the shit that went wrong and all that shit that went right, and look for ways I can double down on the good shit and get rid of the bad shit.
I mean, for all we truly know, this is our *one* and *only* life, and if there is anything that I’ve learned in my time spent surviving and thriving on this cruel, cold earth, it’s this: You can’t sit around and wait for life to happen to you. You need to make life happen for you.
Aren’t you tired of sitting on the sidelines of life, watching everyone else shine in the ring? Aren’t you ready to play the game? Aren’t you ready to be seen? To come into your glorious power, express your tenacious voice, be impossibly vibrant in your health, and feel as if you’re in your overall prime?
I know I am! I’m sick of putting life off due to fear and all the rest of the negative bullshit, but I know my self-sabotaging habits won’t magically correct themselves.
Which is why I’ve put together 20 positive intentions I’m setting for 2020. And who knows, maybe you’ll actually ~enjoy~ these. Maybe you’ll feel inspired to write your own. Either way, share it all with your lesbian big sister (me). Let’s support each other in this new decade, babe.
Because one thing is for certain: We can’t do shit without having a community to hold our (rather sexy) asses accountable.
1. F*ck the fear of failure. Actually don’t f*ck it, it doesn’t deserve to be f*cked by you. Get rid of it! Throw it out of your precious orbit and into the trash where it belongs! Because guess what, little sister? Trying something new and not being ~wildly successful~ on your first goddamn try, is NOT FAILING. Failing is not going after your dreams because you’re terrified of it not working out exactly as you wish.
2. Remember: Rejection is protection. I know it sounds woo-woo but I fully believe it. Every single time I’ve ever been rejected from a job or a person or an opportunity, it’s turned out to be an awesome blessing. This year, when rejection comes swooping through your world, get down on your knees and say “thank you.” The universe is protecting you from a toxic situation or an energy vampire that will suck you dry. That, or it’s insisting that you hold out for something far better. Something beyond your wildest dreams. Rejection isn’t just protection, it’s redirection.
3. F*ck your feelings. Like actually f*ck them. Make love to them with the intensity you’d make love to a dangerous ex from the past, who you claim to be over but still secretly love. Because feelings (unlike your toxic ex) are like guardian angels. Sadness is telling you that you’re not in alignment with your purpose and it’s time to change your life. Anxiety is telling you to run the opposite direction as fast as you can because wherever you are and whoever you are with, is poisonous for you. Joy is screaming “BITCH KEEP DOING THIS!” When you numb your feelings, you actually block your intuition. Intuition and feelings — might even be one and the same. Girls have so many feelings, because girls have been gifted with the most powerful intuition on the planet.
4. Fall in love with a hobby — that has nothing to do with money or getting fit or looking hot. Do something just because you goddamn love doing it. Can’t think of what to do? What did you do when you were younger or more carefree, before you worried about your career and status and body? Yeah, do that thing again.
5. Have more goddamn fun! Yes, the world is falling apart, but you owe it to yourself to lose yourself in the blissful innocence of unabashed glee everyone once in a while. Having fun in this midst of this devastating climate is a political act. The powers that be, they don’t want you to have fun. Because having fun will energize you and make you powerful and fearless again. Don’t let them win. So laugh. Dance. Watch comedy. Let go.
6. Scroll less, connect more. PSA: Scrolling mindlessly is the great demotivator. It makes you feel like you’ll never compete with her perfect life or ever have his perfect abs. It disconnects you from your goddess-given purpose. So mute everyone on social who makes you feel like gum on the sole of a dr. marten boot and have coffee with a real friend instead.
7. Do more of what makes you feel lit from within.
8. Don’t dumb yourself down in order to be more accepted or understood by the masses. I did this for years. And then I said “Screw it, I’m just going to be me,” and all of the people who didn’t get me melted away and all that was left were my people and I’ve never felt more free. Not everyone is going to get you. That’s f*cking fine, babe. When you cut out the bullshit, you only have to connect with the real shit. And great art and creativity can only live in real shit, not fake shit. They’re like roses!
9. PRACTICE GRATITUDE. Contrary to popular belief, gratitude is a practice. So get up every single morning and count your blessings. Because it’s actually impossible to feel joy without feeling grateful. And what the hell are we working for if we can’t feel joy, like, ever?
10. Give yourself permission to shine. Anyone who shames you or calls you a narcissist for sparkling, sparkling, sparkling, wants to hoard your stunning light and keep it for themselves. But your light is not theirs to take. Don’t let them snuff it out. The rest of us suffer without your gorgeous glow.
11. Trust that you were put on this Earth for a powerful reason. You are being guided toward something amazing. Just trust it. You’ll feel so much more at ease and so much less manic when you believe in the magic of the universe. And guess what? Growth can only happen when you’re relaxed and content and grateful. Nothing beautiful can grow out of stressed-out, fatigued roots.
12. Find what you love, put a pair of blinders on and run in the direction of that thing. Whatever it is.
13. Start that project. You know, that project you’ve been positively DYING to start. Just start it. Seriously. Click out of this article and start working on your passion project, the one that is ~burning~ inside of you. Do it before it burns you from within and leaves your soul scorched and scarred.
14. Worship the temple that is your body and honor it by taking care of it. You live in your body, it is your only true home in this life. Thank her. Hydrate her. Do more of what makes her feel good. Purr.
15. Drink less alcohol, create more art.
16. Meditate, don’t self medicate.
17. Remember: You are a money magnet! Stop telling yourself you’re unworthy of that raise, that it’s utterly impossible to make money off what you love, that you’re doomed to be struggling your whole life. These are all false narratives you’ve created, and they are dangerous. They are lies that are blocking you from embodying the truth: You deserve that raise and will get it. You will make money off your passions because your passions are gold and everyone wants gold. You won’t be struggling your whole life, for soon you’ll thrive not merely survive.
18. Rewrite the script. You, after all, are the senior writer and executive producer of your life story. You call the shots, no one else. How do you want this next chapter to go? If you’re in the throes of a dull or dismal scene, pick up the goddamn pen and change the direction of your existence. Get creative and manifest the life you fantasize about when you’re tucked beneath your sheets at night, awake and staring at the cracks in the ceiling.
19. Let go of all the resentments you’re harboring inside of your body. They are making you sick. The most powerful thing you can do to the monsters of the past, is to let them go. Monsters have no business shacking up in your precious heart. Get a therapist, and together, strike a match and light those demons on fire. Watch ’em burn to a crisp, step over their ashes and do something brilliant with your life.
20. Give yourself a clean slate. Forgive yourself. Whatever you did, let it go, babe. You did what you thought you had to do at the time. Everyone makes mistakes. As the late Maya Angelou once said: “When you know better, you do better.” You know better now. So take a deep breath. Look in the mirror. Say “I forgive you.” Feel the lightness. And ascend into the air like the phoenix you are.
You deserve it. We deserve it. Let’s do it.