New Year’s Resolutions For The Girl Who Wants To Make More Gay Friends In 2019

Host a potluck. You’ll be in for life.

Photo by stocksy

Are you one of those gays who constantly moans, “It’s so hard to make gay friends!” to all of your furrow-browed straight friends? Are the only gay people you’ve ever known your ex’s friends who you no longer speak to since your tragic breakup? Did you just move to a new town where you don’t know a single soul, let alone a rainbow-colored one? Or do you simply feel like you don’t “fit in” with the gays that you do know?

Have no fear, babes. I used to be one of you. Until I set a very clear intention of making gay friends and actively sought them out. Thank god I did because you need a support system in order to survive these complicated lezzie waters.

Today, I’m going to share my expert tips on making some gay friends. Follow these steps and in 2019 we’re going to be riding the rainbow with a whole slew of LGBTQ friends you never even knew you needed.

1. Start going to the roller derby

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Not all the roller derby girls are gay, but a shit ton of them are! And the ones that aren’t gay surely have gay friends who are sitting in the audience cheering them on as they recklessly fly by on their skates.

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All you need to do is throw on a pair of badass black boots, stick some cute lezzie pin onto your black leather motorcycle jacket (so you’ve outed yourself visibly to your tribe), and go to your next local “bout.” Chat up some girls by asking them questions about the, well, you know… game, babe.

2. Get on a dating app

If you’re single and not looking to date, but rather looking to make “friends,” get on Tinder, Her, OKCupid, or Bumble. These apps are far better for making friends than they are for finding love. Some of my best friends in the entire universe I’ve met through Tinder. Look for women with similar interests as yours, and ask them out for a “coffee.”

Bond over steaming hot cups of matcha (or something else super gay) and become best friends for life. And if you hook up, who cares? I mean, is a friend even a friend if you don’t kiss at least once? Not in my world!

3. Volunteer at an animal shelter

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I’ve never met a queer who doesn’t have a bleeding heart when it comes to the welfare of animals. If I did meet a queer who was cold toward animals, I don’t think I would go anywhere near them. It’s unnatural for our kind to be apathetic toward animals, which is why you’ll always find a nice plethora of LGBTQ entities to befriend at the local animal shelter. So get online, sign up for some volunteer work, and make some queer friends, honey!

4. Buy tickets to an Indigo Girls concert

If I had to guess, I would hypothesize that 90 percent of the audience at an Indigo Girls concert is lezzie AF. And friendly! And ready to chat and invite you over to their potluck dinner next weekend (just be sure to have a few vegan recipes up your sleeve!)

5. Hang out at the gay bar

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People are so wonderful and friendly and teeming with life at a gay bar—especially in these divisive, wicked times. When I’m traveling, I’ll just look up the local gay bars in that area and set up shop at the bar, alone. I like to get there early so I can make friends with the bartender who will inevitably introduce me to their favorite clients and who will then, in turn, take me in as a friend for life!

We lesbians love new friends. We’re still traumatized from feeling outcast in high school, so now we’re thirsty to be the most popular gay on the block with the most friends of anyone.

6. Friend request girls you don’t know very well (if at all)

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Be shameless with your friend requesting, babes. If you know of a girl who is gay but you have never met her IRL, merely friend request her. Half of my Facebook friends are random lesbians I just friend-requested and vice versa. It’s not weird at all, for there is an unspoken queer rule where you can friend anyone from your tribe, and it’s totally fine.

7. Join/troll the soccer team

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If you’re blessed enough to be decent at soccer, join your local women’s soccer team. It’s all lezzies, I swear to the Indigo Girls, and they’re always super friendly sporty ladies. If you’re like me and can’t play for shit, just watch. They love ~cheerleaders~ trust me, babe.

8. Host a potluck

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Find a cute group like “Queer Soup Night” or a potluck from Meetup.com and offer to host the next event in your apartment! This is the Holy Grail of making lesbian friends. Once they’re in your home and meet your sweet super lez-friendly kittens and look at the art framed on your walls and see all your houseplants and Joan Jett records, you’re in. For life.