The world feels like it’s burning all around us and as the colder (and darker) days approach us here in the Northern Hemisphere, we all could use a little extra love and distraction. What better to distract us than some extra hot celesbians to drool over and fantasize about? If you’re anything like most lesbians, you may be astrology-obsessed. Even if you think astrology is bupkis, surely you’ve read your horoscope in the back of the daily newspaper—or read your monthly GO Mag horoscopes—and are dying to know which celesbian would be best suited for you, based on your zodiac sign.
Behold, the perfect celesbian for you, based on your sun sign.
Aquarius: Rachel Maddow
Although Rachel herself is an Aries, Aquarians love nothing more than someone who is smart and can make them think and see the world through a different lens. Aquarians are sapiosexuals (turned on by smart people), so that is why the perfect woman for you is the super smart, politically engaged and quick thinking Rachel Maddow.
Pisces: k.d. Lang
Pisces are deep feelers and daydreamers. They love artists of all kinds and who better to woo you than the heartfelt crooner k.d. lang? Pisces are usually so caught up in their daydreams that they lack initiative in making the first move. Something tells me k.d. wouldn’t mind leaning in for the first kiss with you, sweet Pisces.
Aries: Lena Waithe
Aries likes swagger and confidence, both of which they exude without effort. And who has more swagger, confidence, and sexiness than Lena Waithe? Exactly no one. Except Ruby Rose, maybe. Maybe. And while you may feel slightly competitive with Lena over who has the most swagger, you’re drawn to her confidence, Aries, and you know you’d enjoy someone else taking the lead in the bedroom every once in a while.
Taurus: Ari Fritz
Ari Fritz is a filmmaker, YouTuber, and a professional cuddler, which makes her absolutely perfect for you, Taurus. A Taurus enjoys the pleasures in life: good food, good movies, good fashion (ever seen the way she dresses? Hellooooo, fashion icon), and yes, lots and lots of cuddling. Check out her videos on YouTube, especially the “lesbians react” ones. They’ll have you swooning over her in no time.
Gemini: Cara Delevingne
Model-turned-actress Cara Delevingne is adventurous and outspoken, which makes her perfect for Geminis. She’s been very vocal about her bisexuality and even talks openly about the stigma bisexuals face; her own friends don’t understand her sexual fluidity. But you do, Gemini. You like someone who can keep you on your toes and never bore you, in or out of the bedroom, which makes Cara the perfect celeb for you to crush on.
Cancer: Ellen Page
Cancers can be moody homebodies who talk incessantly about our feelings. So we love someone who lets us feel our deep feelings without making us cry. (Okay, maybe listening to us talk about our feelings ad nauseam will make us cry with tears of gratitude, but you get the point.) Ellen herself is a deep feeler, which us Cancers can appreciate. Let’s talk about our feelings all night, baby. She’s also social enough to be the life of the party and get us out of our comfort zones.
Leo: Jane Lynch
A born leader with extraordinary talent and drive is a turn-on for Leos, which makes Jane the perfect match for you, daring Leo. Jane doesn’t let anyone stand in the way of her goals, once she’s made up her mind on something. We all know you’re fiercely loyal and protective of your loved ones. She’ll return your passion and loyalty, making you two one amazing duo.
Virgo: Suze Orman
Virgos love details. They love planning. They love someone who has their shit together, so they don’t have to get it together for them. And that is why Suze is the perfect celesbian for you, meticulous Virgo. She’s got her finances—hell, her entire life—in order, and nothing turns you on more than a lot of organization and the occasional well-put together spreadsheet.
Libra: Samira Wiley
Libras love a very pleasant energy—the energy of kindness, which is exactly what the beautiful Samira Wiley exudes. Look at her wholesome smile, I mean come on. Samira’s balanced outlook on life and love will have you, seeker of justice and fairness, swooning in no time, if her smile doesn’t do it first.
Scorpio: Kristen Stewart
Dark and smoldering and a bit mysterious? Sign you up, Scorpio! You love someone who isn’t afraid to dive into your deep (and sometimes murky) emotions. You love a mystery—someone whose secrets you can delve into, someone who isn’t easy to get to know but who can handle your intensity. That’s what makes Kristen Stewart the celesbian for you. She’s not an easy one to read, and that’ll make the chase all the sexier for you.
Sagittarius: Tig Notaro
A bit of adventure combined with some whimsy and a lot of humor is a major turn-on for you, Sagittarius. Plus, Tig’s jet-setting lifestyle is one you could settle into pretty easily, since you’re up for an adventure at any minute.
Capricorn: Ellen Degeneres
Capricorns are hard workers who can sometimes take life a little too seriously. That’s why you need someone who’s going to make you laugh in order to get turned on. Which is why your celesbian crush is none other than the beloved Ellen Degeneres herself. If she can’t make you laugh (and get your clothes off), you’re dead inside.
