May is international masturbation month and while I never need a reason to whip out my vibrators and lube — I’ll take it! This entire month is dedicated to destigmatizing and reducing shame around this most pleasurable act. Solo sex is incredible not only for orgasm and release, but also for mental and physical health. It’s a space for exploration of sexuality and desire, a time we can set aside purely for self-love and arousal.
But sometimes it’s hard to carve out time in our hectic lives specifically for masturbation. Considering masturbation to be “second best” to sex with partners would be a disservice to your body. The most important sexual relationship you will ever have is with yourself. Trust me, babe, you are worth so much more than a quickie to help you fall asleep faster (though, I do know that’s a beautiful perk of masturbation).
This month, I challenge you to masturbate at least four times a week and spice it up with something different every time. Not only are there a plethora of fun positions for partner sex, but so much to explore in your masturbation rituals. Here are 7 to get you started.
1. Incorporate different textures and sensations.
When you allow masturbation to extend beyond the goal of orgasm and really make it about embracing the pleasure you want to experience — opening up a whole new world to incorporate into your solo sex. You can bring in feathers, leather, silk or different textures that feel yummy to rub, whip or tie yourself with. If you are looking to explore your kinky side but have been nervous to do so with a partner, this is your chance to figure out which kinks are for you! You could practice rope bondage on yourself and after you’re all tied up find new ways to touch yourself under your own restrictions.
Bringing in different textures and scents allows your masturbation to feel more intentional, which will hopefully be followed by even more self-love.
Have you ever given yourself a challenge to orgasm in a new way?! Did you know that it’s possible to orgasm simply from nipple stimulation for some people?! It might be time to test this out and see if you’re one of those people! You can enjoy so much play just with your nipples. Whip out some lube or massage oil to give your breasts some love until you feel turned on. It’s all about awakening the nerve endings in your nipple and areola gradually.
Adding some heat might also help (with a hot wet washcloth) as it increases blood flow and pleasure. As you massage, tug or pinch your nipples you can add stimulation elsewhere on your body and just as you’re about to orgasm, pull back everywhere but your nipple and see what happens! May pleasure ensue!
3. Do it at work.
I used to work at a horrible, misogynistic tech company and, to be honest, the only way I got through most work weeks was masturbating in the bathroom. I would wear my incognito Crave Vesper necklace that doubles as a vibrator and just take an extended bathroom break. The added suspense that someone might walk through the door at any moment and I’d have to stop created an intensity different from masturbating in bed at home.
4. Record yourself (for yourself).
Whether you want to video or audio record your solo sex time is up to you! Allow this to be your debut in front of your own camera screen for your own viewing or listening pleasure. Take some extra time getting ready for your solo sex time — put on your favorite outfit, do your hair and makeup, give yourself a massage. Then as you click the record button, put on a show for yourself.
Having a video of your own masturbation is like having a little secret art project no one has to know about. Revel in how hot you look as you touch yourself and use your toys. Or listen to your own moans while giving yourself pleasure. Not only is it hot (AF!), but it’s also an incredible confidence boost for the next time you’re not really feeling yourself.
5. Focus on more than your clit.
It’s easy to get in a habit of just going in for the kill — where you know you’re almost 100% guaranteed an orgasm with clit stimulation. But our bodies are filled with pleasurable nerve endings to explore. Look at your body like a canvas and fill in all the different kinds of pleasure and note where you feel them. Does squeezing your thighs feel heavenly? Or maybe scratching your stomach is the best sensation right before you cum? Your body is completely your own to delve into and navigate all of the delicious sensations you can experience during sex (solo or partnered).
6. Edge yourself.
Edging is the sexual practice of getting extremely close to orgasm and then backing off, repeating until orgasm happens. This is usually practiced with partners because during solo sex people usually seek orgasm and then see the session as complete. Using edging in your masturbation rituals not only will extend the time you spend with yourself and your body, but it will also allow you to experience different types of orgasm during solo sex. Edging can sometimes induce multiple or extended orgasms because the body becomes relaxed and aroused at the same time.
7. Try new positions.
While there are so many resources for partner sex positions to try together, rarely does there exist a guide for expanding our masturbation positions. You can sit down in front of your mirror. You can use pillows as support under your lower back. You can get a suction dildo that sticks to surfaces for you to ride. You can get wet in the bath. Get your creative juices (and bodily juices) flowing by changing it up every once in a while. It brings excitement into your solo sex time and also teaches your body that there are so many different ways to orgasm.
How will you be celebrating #InternationalMasturbationMonth? Tell us in the comments below.