What turns you on? How would you define sensuality? I would bet that the first few things that come to mind revolve around touch. The sensation of touch is often what we correlate to sex and sensuality. I would like to propose that we have 5 senses for a reason. This week in our sex ed column for queer women, we’ll dive into how you can reach new levels of pleasure with all your senses. Get creative and add to the activities below!
Cook a meal together. Choose your favorite flavors and cook a delicious meal with bae before you get sexy. You could even play around with your outfit, wearing a little apron and nothing else. This is an amazing time to relax and have fun together in the kitchen!
Experiment with different flavors. Some foods are said to give your vagina an extra delicious taste (moreso than usual) so maybe try incorporating fruits or vegetables that are high in natural sugars like pineapples, celery, red grapes, cranberry juice or watermelon.
Bring dessert to bed. Out for date night at your favorite restaurant? Order your fave dessert wrapped up to go. As you undress each other take turns feeding each other this yummy sweet treat.
Play with different textures. Run some different textures over each others skin to really get turned on. This is a great way to experiment with foreplay. Some suggestions for textures you can try: silk, feathers, leather, velvet.
Get the rope out. Find your local sex toy shop and see if they have any bondage 101 classes for you and your partner(s) to attend. You can take this new sexy knowledge to the bedroom and play around with this new sensation.
Make some art together. Indulge yourself in a different kind of play. You can find these “Love Is Art” kits on Amazon where you role around together in paint to create a beautiful piece of canvas artwork for your home.
Try a little impact. Take your spanking game to the next level. Get a flogger or whip to bring a new sensation to the bedroom.
Fill the room with a delicious scent. Find a nice aromatic scented candle or even an essential oil diffuser. Some nice scents to introduce in sexy space are lavender, vanilla, musk or cinnamon.
Avoid all scented products and revel in your natural pheromones. Remove all scented soaps, lotions and potions from you daily routine and allow each other to really take in your natural pheromones – scents that play a role in our natural attraction to each other.
Blindfold her. Take away her sight for the night and watch all her other senses experience heightened reactions.
Wear something that you feel most sexy in. What do you feel most sexy in? When you dress in what makes you feel good in your skin – sexy and confident – your partner will be able to tell!
Dress up for role play. What kind of role play do you and your partner(s) like to indulge in? Whether dressing up like a nurse for some sexy examinations or that strict teacher – really allow yourself to get into with costumes galore!
Feast your eyes on an erotic film. There are so many great feminist and queer porn sites now – like The Crash Pad Series – try introducing some visual inspiration to your bedroom by watching porn together.
Talk dirty to each other. Ask your partner to tell you, very softly, how your body feels as she touches you, how it feels as she strokes you. Don’t let your partner do all the talking, however. Tell her how you are feeling as she touches you. Another option is to tell each other what you’re going to do or what you’d like to do.
Put on some sexy music. Make a playlist of your favorite sounds that put you in the mood. Personally, I love to use my playlist for my solo time and partner time. Try it out for both!
Corinne Werder is a writer, sex educator and girl on the move currently residing in Brooklyn, NY. She looks at the world through the lens of a pleasure activist, femme-of-center queer woman. Her background in sex education comes from her volunteer work with RAINN, her work as a sexual assault/domestic violence advocate and she is currently a student at the Institute for Sexuality and Enlightenment.
Have more sex questions? Leave a comment below or email firstname.lastname@example.org and come back for more every Friday!