Relationships are hard AF, babe. You win some and you lose some—and we’ve all been there when a relationship falls apart and we just can’t figure out why. Maybe the answer is in the stars! Are you a chronic ghoster? Do you lack the ability to trust? Or let your practicality get the best of you?
We’re here to help you process your breakup. But to get through the hard times, sometimes you need to make some hard realizations about yourself.
Aries: You Are Boring
You got bored. The first three months of any relationship is amazing for you, Aries. You’re just so much fun and anyone is lucky to be around the tiny ball of energy you turn into when you’re excited about someone. However, once that initial period of infatuation is over, you don’t really know how to keep the excitement going.
Don’t take this the wrong way but, Aries, only boring people get bored. It’s not your partner’s job to entertain you. If you don’t get totally sucked into the beginning of a fling and keep a sense of your exciting self with your exciting interests, you’ll find that you won’t get bored after the first three months are up. Maintain a sense of self and boundaries to maintain a relationship. You’re the only one who can keep exciting yourself.
Taurus: You Don’t Know How To Deal With Money
There were money disputes. You know what they say—most relationships end because of some disagreements about money. As a Taurus, you’re fully aware of power dynamics if your partner is richer than you or if you are richer than your partner. You’re fully aware of what it means to be in poverty. As a Taurus, your dream is that love can transcend these lines of class. You don’t feel love when the bill is split.
This is a wonderful opportunity to develop your communication skills. You have to learn how to talk about money if you want to feel loved. Relationships come into your life so that you can talk about the inequity in the world and the personal is very political. Let your relationships challenge you to be someone who can acknowledge what money does to the world.
Gemini: You Lack Self-Esteem
You talked yourself out of it. It’s easy for you to feel like you’re not good enough for a partner for whatever reason. Wherever a flaw is, you’ll find it on yourself. Maybe you think you’re not good looking enough or rich enough or successful enough—you just don’t think you’re enough. The one thing you know is that you have enough of is intelligence. You think to yourself that you can be smart by yourself and spare yourself the heartbreak by ending it.
The thing is, Gemini, you let these standards dominate your life and you’ll actually become less intelligent as time goes on. Real intelligence comes from knowing that life is a set of mistakes you always learn how to process and that this requires taking emotions into account. That’s right—the binary between emotional IQ and actual IQ is just a construct. You’re enough, Gemini. You just need to learn to ask for more.
Cancer: You Can’t Deal With Change
You weren’t willing to make changes. People change, Cancer, and relationships have to change with them. If your sense of security comes from always holding onto things as they already are, you’re sabotaging your own relationship. Love and protect—don’t try to control. You will also change, Cancer, and it’s important you leave yourself the room to do so.
Don’t dream about falling in love with someone and moving into a cozy place together, living each and every day the same way. You wouldn’t be able to stand that and neither will anyone else. Embrace the unpredictability of life and love. You need to set boundaries in order to create space in the relationship so things can flex and move in order to give all people involved the ability to breathe.
Leo: You Seek A Lot Of Attention
What relationship? Or, rather, which one? Friendship and love blend together for you and becomes, really, the same thing. You have so much love to give, Leo, and you can’t help it if it attracts a crowd. There’s nothing wrong with that but remember this: the difference between a community and a crowd is that a crowd is only gathered together to look at something side by side. They are only tolerating the presence of other people.
Develop a sense of belonging in the people close to you, the people you love. This means that you have to give up some of the attention you get from all your partners and friends so that they love each other. This is your real power—use it well. If you don’t prioritize community, you’ll get exhausted from constantly having to perform as a spectacle in order to keep the crowd together.
Virgo: You’re Codependent
You martyred yourself. Virgo, you don’t always know how to show love and you’re prone to doing everything for a partner. You clean up after shared meals, you do the laundry, you feed the cat, and you cook. Love, to you, means taking care of the details of everyday life. However, there’s a part of you that doesn’t see why you need another person when you can enjoy your home cooked meals, clean sheets, and cat by yourself.
Your sign is the Virgin for a reason—no matter what you remain pretty much consistent in your efforts to give up yourself totally. My advice to you is to find someone who values your sense of unflinching independence and actively makes sure the labor required to make the relationship work is equal. This act of balance is exactly the thing you need to develop.
Libra: You Play Games
Actually, Libra, it was because you were too self involved. You used the relationship like a mirror to look at who you are. There’s nothing wrong with defining yourself through your relationships, Libra, and you do that because you’re a social animal but make sure that’s not the only way you can can catch a glimpse of yourself and who you are.
Whether you’re poly or mono, it’s important not to play games with another person’s feelings by talking all the time about who you have a crush on or who you think likes you. Only do it when it breeds a sense of accountability and trust. If you don’t take care to foster that, then your relationship is bound to fall apart because it’s all just a shiny surface.
Scorpio: You Can’t See The Big Picture
It never ended. You never stopped stalking the person on social media or thinking about them everyday when you wake up. Any contact means that something is starting back up. Don’t even try to be friends with your exes, Scorpio. You’re not someone who can swing that. The one thing every Scorpio needs to learn is how to let go of pettiness. If a partner forgot a dinner date, let it go.
You have to leave room in relationships for misunderstandings and mistakes. Don’t read too deeply into any singular thing, you should try to learn to see the big picture. You’re great at setting rules and boundaries in relationships to maintain a sense of respect but don’t be too anal about them or you’ll let the rules dominate the relationship. You’ll end up overruling what is human about your partner and yourself.
Sagittarius: You Have One Foot Out The Door
You thought the other person wasn’t cool enough for you. You know when people seem at their coolest? When you don’t see them that much and that, Sagittarius, is exactly what you like to do. You don’t want to get too involved because the relationship will loose its shiny veneer. You want to be engaged but always have the ability to leave and return as you are.
Learn to recognize that seeing someone in an uncool light is exactly intimacy. It’ll help you embrace your own awkwardness. That’s right—you’re actually very uncool, Sag, and not wanting to get too close to someone also comes from your reluctance to be seen as you are. Find who you are by finding your priorities and you’ll find love.
Capricorn: You Turn It Into A Job
You were only in the relationship because you felt like you had to be. The thing is, maybe that’s what the other person thought too or maybe that’s just what you told yourself so you feel needed. You told yourself so many times to make yourself into what the other person needs that the whole thing became one big chore. You’re so aware of what work a relationship needs and it was just a job.
You have to let yourself become useless in relationships, Capricorn. Remember that it’s okay to be yourself, to need things, to ask for them, and to just consume them. Relationships require you to need the other person just as much as they need you. You won’t protect your heart by making it’s one-sided—in fact, that’s exactly what sabotages you in the first place.
Aquarius: You’re Practicality Got The Best Of You
You forgot you were in one. Maybe you went on a trip for two weeks and decided it is just more logical to end it instead of having to install Skype on your phone, maybe you got busy with work and just didn’t see the person for a couple weeks, or maybe you got in one of your not-texting phases and accidentally deleted your partner’s number.
You don’t understand why your partner is mad because it’s not like the break up was particularly personal. It just didn’t work out for practical reasons and you think anyone should understand. Aquarius, not only did that hurt your partner but it also hurt you. You may not understand why you feel bad when it was all bound to end anyway but, actually, you’re upset because you can’t avoid emotions by not putting any effort into processing them.
Pisces: You Live In The Clouds
You accidentally ghosted the other person. You didn’t mean to—it’s just the way your mind works. You thought the other person wanted to break up with you so you ended it for them since you know how hard it is to end a relationship and you couldn’t bear making someone you love do it.
Don’t worry Pisces—if you had bad vibes about the relationship, it’s probably best that you ended it whether you thought the need to came from the other person or yourself. The reason it ended? Well, everything has an ending. You know that everything in life is temporary, including life itself, and take everything in it with that fact in mind.