A celesbian breakup is never really a breakup. It’s merely a separation that pushes each party further into the spotlight—and eventually more deeply entangled in a web of famous and once-famous queer women, many of whom have dated one another.
It’s easy to become enmeshed in a celesbian relationship. We’re obsessed with every date they go on, every paparazzi pic of two celesbians (or, even better, one celesbian and one ~normal~ person) holding hands, and every adorable Instagram selfie they post. Why? Perhaps because there’s just so little female-relationship representation in media. Perhaps we’re suckers for celebrity gossip. Perhaps it’s because we love seeing two hot women together. Whatever the reason, none of us can deny our love for celesbian relationships. And when they fall apart, our hearts break with them.
But what happens to the telexes; the loves lost of our beloved celesbians? What’s going on in their lives? What are they doing? Who are they doing? Where are they now?
We looked back at the most famous celesbian breakups of the past few decades, and here’s where the once-beloved exes of major out celebrities are now.
Anne Heche (dated Ellen Degeneres, 1997-2000)
Anne and Ellen met at Vanity Fair’s 1997 Oscar party. Soon they became the most famous celebrity lesbian couple ever (at the time), thanks in part to Oprah. Anne has been married twice since then, though she separated from her second husband earlier this year. Most recently, she starred on NBC’s The Brave, which was canceled this year at the end of its first season.
Samantha Ronson (dated Lindsay Lohan, 2008-2009)
Sam and Lindsay’s relationship was basically 100 percent speculation (and analysis of paparazzi photos) of the on-and-off drama between the child actress turned IRL mean girl and the celebrity DJ. Lindsay never came out as queer and explained to Wendy Williams this year that “I was living in LA.” Sounds like she’s watched a lot of The L Word. Sam is now one of three members in the pop band Ocean Park Standoff—and, despite having 126K Insta followers, remains notoriously quiet about her personal life.
Alicia Cargile (dated Kristen Stewart, 2014-2016)
As Kristen’s first public girlfriend, Alicia will always have a special place in our hearts. Kristen told Elle UK In February 2016, “We’ve broken up a couple of times and gotten back together, and this time I was like, ‘Finally, I can feel again.’” But the pair officially split, unfortunately, later that year. Alicia doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, and her IMDB doesn’t list any major projects since 2013, but some quick LinkedIn snooping shows that she’s currently doing freelance visual effects and you can buy her artwork on her personal website.
Soko (dated Kristen Stewart for a couple of months in 2016)
In March 2016, the French singer and actress told W Magazine that she was “very, very, very in love and very happy in a relationship” with Kristen. But a breakup in May 2016 ended that. Soko continues on to be an Instagram influencer and the self-proclaimed queer mom and “French rainbow goth” is currently pregnant with her first baby.
St. Vincent (dated Kristen Stewart briefly in 2016)
Fresh out of a breakup with supermodel Cara deLevingne, musician St. Vincent (AKA Annie Clark) got together with Kristen, her most recent public girlfriend. In 2017, she told The Guardian that she was in “deep nun mode”, which seems to be ongoing as she tours her most recent album Masseducation.
Cara deLevingne (dated St. Vincent, 2014-2016 and Kristen Stewart in 2016, because of course)
Cara’s breakup with St. Vincent was tragic because obviously, they were an incredibly beautiful and talented couple. Cara’s voice will forever be captured as a background singer on the track “Pills” from St. Vincent’s 2017 album Mass Education. And in October 2017, St. Vincent told British Vogue that she will love Cara “forever.” That same month, Cara’s debut YA novel (with lesbians!) Mirror, Mirror was published. In May 2018, Cara came out as genderfluid and is currently (likely) dating Ashley Benson.
Carrie Brownstein (dated St. Vincent, 2012-2013)
St. Vincent has had a lot of very cool girlfriends, and now a lot of very cool exes, like Sleater-Kinney’s Carrie Brownstein. The bisexual Portlandia star and St. Vincent collaborated in 2017 on a short film series, and while rumors have floated around about Brownstein dating Orange Is The New Black’s Taylor Schilling and Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson, none of her other female flings are confirmed public info. Brownstein is currently working with Hulu on a series based on her memoir and a new Sleater-Kinney album.
Corin Tucker (dated Carrie Brownstein circa early 1990s)
Carrie and Corin, who both played guitar and sang in their all-female rock trio Sleater-Kinney from 1994-2006, dated early on in the band’s formation. Corin, who is openly bisexual, went on to form her own band, The Corin Tucker Project and married to filmmaker Lance Bangs. They have two kids, and Corin is currently the lead singer for Filthy Friends.
Stella Maxwell (dated Miley Cyrus, 2015-2016)
Miley’s first public girlfriend was Victoria’s Secret Angel Stella Maxwell. The two were photographed together a ton and the archival footage of their brief relationship includes this now iconic churro pic. Maxell joked that the two met on Grindr, which is actually a very funny way to troll straight people prying on their relationship. In a surprise (not at all) twist, Stella is now dating and living with (!!!) Kristen Stewart.
Alexandra Hedison (dated Ellen DeGeneres, 2000-2004)
Ellen’s next girlfriend after Anne Heche was none other than photographer/director/actor Alexandra Hedison, a woman we collectively know as Dylan Moreland, the documentary filmmaker who preyed on Helena in The L Word. Hedison started dating Jodie Foster in 2013, and the two married a year later. She’s now an internationally renowned fine art photographer who exhibits globally.
Chelsea Fairless (dated Lea DeLaria, 2013-2017)
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Apparently this was an eerily prophetic choice of engagement photo as our relationship has since gone the way of David and Liza, with one small exception: our split is amicable. Please exclude us from the tragic and basic celebrity breakup narrative. We were happy together for four years and will remain in each other’s lives. In fact, we look forward to finding new ways to torture each other. We would like to thank our incredible friends and families for their love and support ❤ xoxo Lea & @female_trouble
About a week before Sandra Bernhardt was scheduled to officiate the wedding of fashion editor Chelsea Fairless and actor Lea DeLaria, DeLaria posted on Instagram that the two split amicably. “We were happy together for four years and will remain in each other’s lives,” she wrote. She followed that with what should be the motto of all lesbian breakups: “In fact, we look forward to finding new ways to torture each other.” Fairless, who identifies as A Samantha, is one of the co-creators of the Instagram account @everyoutfitonSATC and launched the insta-friendly brand Female Trouble in 2017. She is now dating (and going on very enviable vacations with) stylist Tatiana Waterford.
Phoebe Dahl (engaged to Ruby Rose, 2013-2015)
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Ruby Rose had a zinger of a breakup message for her fashion designer ex when she Instagrammed a (since-deleted) meme of a baby sleeping peacefully knowing she isn’t being cheated on. Ouch. Dahl’s unfaithful reputation hasn’t marred her on the dating scene, however. She and her model-slash-DJ girlfriend Tatiana de Leon shared an extensive Vogue interview last year, and Dahl’s environmentally friendly clothing company, Faircloth + Supply, is thriving.
Jenny Shimizu (dated Angelina Jolie in 1996)
After meeting on the set of Foxfire in 1996, 20-year-old Jolie and lesbian model-actress Jenny Shimizu started a brief but intense relationship, with Jolie eventually marrying actor Jonny Lee Miller. Now in her 50s, Shimizu continues to model and married fashion entrepreneur Michelle Harper in 2014.
Samantha Thomas (dated Ellen Page, 2014-2017)
Ellen Page’s first public girlfriend, artist Samantha Thomas, hasn’t had much of her private life in the public eye since she and Page split (and Page married dancer Emma Portner a year later). But Thomas is evidently still friends with the newlyweds, posting a picture of them at January 2018’s Women’s March in LA.
Dani Campbell (dated-ish Tila Tequila in 2007)
The firefighter from Florida was the last standing female contestant on MTV’s bisexual dating show A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila. To the relief of lesbians everywhere, she lost her shot at love with the MySpace star and therefore became eligible to date IRL. Though she has a large social media following, there’s not much about the accidental celebrity out there. Based on solo shots she posts on Instagram, she does still appear to be single.
Heidi Rhoades (engaged to Jillian Michaels, 2016-2018)
The celebrity trainer and her co-parent to two kids, Heidi Rhoades, officially announced their separation on Instagram this past June, ending a nine-year relationship documented on Michaels’ TV shows. While Rhoades is lying low, Michaels says that they’re still friends and that dating as a single parent is “a special slice of hell.”
Tasya van Ree (dated Amber Heard, 2008-2012)
Artist Tasya van Ree and actress Amber Heard broke up in 2012, though van Ree still has Amber’s name tattooed on her arm (there’s a lesson here!). Van Ree has since dated (and split up with) model Caroline Vreeland, great-granddaughter of fashion editor Diana Vreeland. In 2018 she launched Intergalactic Girls Club, an online community uniting women and art.
Francesca Gregorini (engaged to Portia de Rossi, 2000-2004)
The Italian actor-director and Ellen’s future wife broke off their engagement in 2004, but Gregorini had a lasting impact on de Rossi, who she helped come out to her family in the early aughts. You may know her work from 2009’s Tanner Hall or 2013’s The Truth About Emanuel. Since 2014, Gregorini has been dating producer Morgan Marling.
Leisha Hailey (dated k.d. lang, 1996-2001)
The L Word star dated the Canadian musician for a significant part of the ’90s. Since then, she became Alice Pieszecki and was most recently seen in two episodes of Silicon Valley. She’s currently single and posts adorable Instagram photos of her socializing with her former L Word castmates. She’s one of the actors confirmed for the rumored reboot of the Showtime series.
Camila Grey (dated Leisha Hailey, 2011-2016)
With the prevalence of social media and a general small pool of celesbians, once you date a famous gay lady, it’s nearly impossible to stay out of the spotlight.