I Got My Life At Othership’s Queer Night

Wellness has always been a big part of my life, but I haven’t always felt comfortable in wellness spaces. Especially now, wellness has been co-opted by granola-to-right-wing-gifters at an alarming rate, and the focus on wellness has shifted away from feeling good and connecting with your best self to buying supplements and being skinny. The rise in saunas and cold plunges gave off a cult-y vibe that I couldn’t put my finger on despite my interest, so when a trusted friend invited me to Queer Night at Othership—a spa specializing in breath work and meditation—I felt like this was my safe way in.

After checking in, we were invited into the changing rooms. They, of course, were gendered bathrooms, but the organizers of Queer Night made a point to acknowledge the shortcomings of the available spaces and encouraged us to choose whichever changing room we would feel more comfortable in. Usually, when I go into locker rooms, I get flashbacks to middle school, where I would tell myself to keep staring at the ground so no one could say I was staring at them in a ~gay way~. But this time, I knew everyone in the room was queer and comfortable, so that already set me at ease.

Once we were all in our bathing suits, we gathered in the tea room, which is a huge room with tiered cushioned benches, with teas of different varieties available to enjoy before or after the session. I knew we were about to sweat like crazy, so I filled up my water bottle and sat with my friends. I did a scan of the room to see who else was here. I realized that there would be 64 people in the sauna. If I had been told that ahead of time, I might have started hyperventilating in pre-emptive claustrophobia. But instead, I marveled at the beauty and vulnerability of all of us, sitting together, mostly skin showing, ready to experience something together.

Again, in any other room with a bunch of people in bathing suits, so much of my brain space would be dedicated to whether or not I was hot enough or skinny enough to be in the room. But it’s almost as if having us all stripped down made us all open rather than exposed.

Once everyone had changed, our Guides, Ashley Day and Sharisse Francisco, along with the other organizers, introduced themselves, gave us an idea of what we were getting into, and hyped us all up. Floating on excitement and nerves, I followed everyone into the sauna.

Guide Sharisse has spearheaded both Queer Night and BIPOC nights as a part of her mission to diversify wellness spaces and create a greater sense of true belonging within them.

“I believe that it is part of my purpose to create safe spaces for my communities where we can connect, feel seen, liberated, and embodied in the most authentic expression of ourselves, prioritize our well-being, and celebrate ourselves and one another,” Francisco told GO. “I also feel it is imperative for us within the LGBTQIA+ community to make our mental and emotional health a priority. We must deeply care for ourselves, continue to build our resilience, and connect with one another to remember that we are not alone.”

“At Othership, one of our core tenets is building belonging. We want every single person who walks in our door to feel like there’s a seat for them on the sauna bench, exactly as they are,” Lead Steward and Queer Night organizer Stella Boonshoft shared with GO.  “Holding these community nights is so important because we have the opportunity to reach journeyers who may not have felt they could bring their full selves into a wellness space before. As a lesbian, it was so cathartic to sweat, dance, sing, and willingly plunge into freezing cold water with 60 other queer people. The day-to-day of being queer right now can feel heavy, painful, and uncertain, but for those 75 minutes, we got to have so much effing FUN.”

After the active meditation in the sauna, a cold plunge, and a trip back to the sauna for a guided meditation and group share, I genuinely felt like a new person. My fellow attendees and first-timers had just as cathartic an experience as I did.

“For my first time doing this type of event, I didn’t know what to expect, which made me a little nervous,” said Dalia Lopez (aka my wife). “But the staff was so friendly, and everyone attending seemed so excited by the event, which made it much calmer for me. I love a sauna, but then to add in breathing exercises with special smells made the experience so cool. It was especially lovely to see so many queer people in one place. Everyone was so happy to be there, and it really gave a sense of community that I know we are all desperately looking for nowadays.”

“Experiencing the first Queer Night at Othership Flatiron was unforgettable,” shared Lindsay Seibert. “The energy was electric. So many queer people coming together, creating a real sense of connection and belonging. Hearing people share their coming-out stories with such honesty was powerful and moving. I’m grateful my first visit to Othership happened to be Queer Night. It made the experience even more meaningful, especially with everything going on in the world right now.”

In a world where wellness is often gatekept or sold back to us, Queer Night at Othership felt radical in its softness. All we had to do was be, and all we had to be was ourselves. It reminded me that healing doesn’t have to happen alone and that joy, community, and embodiment are revolutionary acts.

There’s not another Queer Night on the books just yet, but I know they are in the works. Make sure to follow Othership on Instagram to stay in the loop, and I hope we can sweat together at the next one!