Ask the Expert! Get Answers to Your Relationship Questions

Executive Matchmaker and Relationship Counsellor, Carol-Sugar-Burke, offers expert love advice.

Dear Carol,

I was at a house party over two months ago and met a wonderful woman that I spent practically the whole evening with. The initial attraction was unbelievable. I felt it was reciprocated when at the end of the evening she gave me her phone number and suggested I give her a call sometime. Since then we have gotten together several times for dinner, drinks after work and a run in the park. But, two months later there’s been very little intimacy. We have so much in common and such a good time together; I find myself falling for her more and more every time we’re together. When we are alone and actually do kiss, there are definitely sparks and fireworks. I have tried to initiate this more often and she has basically come up with every excuse in the book. It never seems to be the right time or right place.

I tried to have a discussion with her about this and she let me know that she’s the type of person who likes to take things slow. I am a very passionate woman and I’m concerned that this relationship is going nowhere. Are we just friends and am I wasting my time?


Dear Lovesick,

Relationships take time to cultivate and so often one person is ready to go faster than the other. It has only been two months and it sounds to me like when you are intimate the passion is truly there. I am a strong believer of “patience is a virtue”. She’s probably just the type of person who prefers to take things slow instead of proceeding full speed ahead. You have a lot in common and really enjoy each other’s company and should give this a little more time. You have to remember that some of us are quite private when it comes to intimacy. Why don’t you invite her over for dinner and stage a romantic evening with a fabulous bottle of red wine, lots of candles and some great food. Why don’t you let the evening progress naturally and see what happens?

Remember, it’s only been two months and it sounds like this could be the beginning of something meaningful.  Give the relationship a chance to run its true course and don’t forget that good things come to those who wait.



Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for New York’s premier gay and lesbian matchmaking service Bespoke Matchmaking. For more information please visit 

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