Relationships are hard, babe. Especially when you can’t quite figure out what it is that your boo actually needs from you. Every person has their own relationships style—ways in which they thrive when they’re dating someone else. But let’s be honest, sometimes we all struggle with communicating our needs and desires. Even when it could be to our benefit and make our relationships much, much stronger.
Maybe you’re reading this because you need some ~self-discovery~ about your own relationship hang-ups and needs. Or maybe you’re really struggling in your relationships and understand how to best help your significant other thrive and feel loved! Either way—dive in and learn more about what every zodiac sign needs from their romantic partners, but maybe doesn’t quite know how to communicate, just yet.
Aries: Don’t tell them who they are.
Transparency—Aries does not play games. Part of this is because what is raw is also tender. Aries is a lot more sensitive and simple than they want to admit. This means that they take things directly and, if you play around with one, they will delete you so fast. Approach Aries with a level of honesty and they will find a way to appreciate it.
In a relationship, Aries is looking for a social identity that they are not able to make themselves. A partner might make them feel more masculine or feminine just by being with them. Thus, Aries cares about who what they look like in the relationship because it impacts their personal identity. For an Aries, racial dynamics and class dynamics matter in a relationship. Don’t tell an Aries who they should be in a relationship—this is the fastest way to give them to check out completely.
Taurus: Love and protection.
Taurus wants Love with a capital L. They want to be protected, to protect someone else, and to be embraced. However, Taurus’ are the pickiest people on the planet. They will take you apart before they love you because paying enough attention to someone enough to scrutinize them is their way of showing love. If you’re dating a Taurus, make sure you pay a lot of attention to them!
Taurus gets a perverse pleasure from being fetishized or used. Their symbol is, after all, the Golden Calf or the idol. They’re attracted to a partner who can show them how to become more socially valuable, even if they will butt heads with them and insist that it’s their own values that matter the most to them. So, love a Taurus by making them powerful inside your relationship with them. Don’t try to control them. Taurus needs trust most of all and it’s only through a power struggle or a frank discussion of power that will make them trust you.
Gemini: Emotions are work.
What Gemini needs in an emotional relationship is a great working relationship. To help a Gemini, talk to them, criticize them, and give them yourself honest feedback. You are this sort of person because of this—that’s what Gemini needs to hear. Being the ultimate receiver of information, they want to know what other people think of them. They need feedback, and criticism is the most honest expression of love to them because it shows that a partner is willing to go out on a limb.
However, don’t just latch onto every little thing and try to debate with your Gemini partner. They’ve already got that down—remember, Gemini knows everything. What they need is a big picture view so they can fill in the details. And, always with Gemini, remember to take care of their bodies. Do things that take care of their bodies. Make them tea or try new recipes together—Gemini neglects their body and will value a partner who reminds them that they exist outside of their heads.
Cancer: Symmetry and accountability.
Cancers need equality. Honestly, this sign is not great at handling conflict inside a relationship only because they feel so exposed all the time already. Cancers will thrive in relationships where there is some kind of similarity or symmetry, where someone has what they need or they have something their partner needs. Often, Cancers look for relationships with people of the same race or class as themselves for this reason—so there is an equal give and take.
What Cancer really needs is accountability. They need to feel a sense of responsibility inside a relationship and they will love it if a partner feels responsible for them. This is difficult for Cancers to learn because a part of them wants the other person to have all the authority (read: responsibility). However, in such a relationship they will feel like they’re the only ones giving. They will not feel loved unless a relationship makes them also feel powerful and in control. Cancer, learn to have boundaries so you can feel loved.
Leo: Power couple.
A Leo needs power. They may not show it and the beginning of a relationship with them is usually fun, spontaneous, and about adventure. However, for a Leo to really commit, the relationship better make them feel fierce. And it’s not that the relationship makes them fierce—they already are. They just need someone to witness how fierce they are so that it’s acknowledged.
Power is sexy to Leos but so is social accountability. This makes dating one a lot of fun and really complicated. It is important for Leo to have a powerful partner because, without one, they don’t feel powerful. However, they don’t want to be dominated by the partner and they don’t want to dominate someone else either. They want to witness each other’s power so that both parties can feel more and more powerful together.
Virgo: You are worlds away from me.
No matter how married a Virgo seems, no matter how long they are in a relationship, even if they have kids, there’s a part of a Virgo who remains completely unaffected by being in a relationship. It will honestly feel like their partner could be anyone and Virgo would still be the same person. This is paradoxical because Virgo’s put so much energy into their relationships. They spend so much time helping and doing stuff for a partner—it’s just that this would be the same no matter who the partner actually is.
Virgo’s are looking for a sense of adventure in their relationships. Because they’re able to see their partner as intensely separate from them, they’re able to be with almost anyone regardless of race or class. They’re actively looking for perspectives as far away from their own as possible when dating. Managing such faraway experiences is what love is about for Virgo and they will do so carefully, while learning and teaching actively. Virgo’s can travel the world without leaving their house.
Libra: A place to be authentic.
So, on the surface, a Libra seems like a tender creature. However, being in a relationship with ones means that you’re getting to know the root of Libra and this is a much colder and more organized space. Libra promotes vulnerability by defining it for themselves first in systematic ways. This means that Libra needs accountability first and foremost. They are literally not able to be vulnerable without it.
For Libra, love is freedom. Love is when we forgive each other’s microaggressions—this is a Libra thing to say. All day, Libra is navigating the social world and mirroring other people while thinking about social identity—what is unjust and working through that. In their private relationships, they want someone who is on the same page politically but able to transcend because they are on the same page. Relationships give Libra a chance to figure out who they are on a one to one scale, without having to think too much about how they are perceived.
Scorpio: Trust and freedom.
Scorpio’s are obsessed with social accountability and are, simultaneously, the most possessive people in the world. This leads to a lot of repression. I’m not supposed to be jealous so I won’t be—is something a Scorpio might think. Really, empathy as freedom matters the most to Scorpio. Falling in love is an exercise of blurring the boundaries for Scorpio. A Scorpio wants you to tell them what you want so that they can shape shift when necessary and carve out their own space for when they can’t.
Ownership is a point of tension in a Scorpio relationship. This concept of being you being their person or them being your person is both highly desirable and off-putting to Scorpio’s. In fact is, once you have gained a Scorpio’s trust, you are their person and you won’t be able to leave. Ever. They will always remember you and check up on you. Which is why this tendency of theirs torments them so much. Scorpio needs someone to show them how to balance freedom with the need to feel valued (which comes from ownership).
Sagittarius: Make me prove myself.
The kind of relationship Sagittarius needs is a little childlike. What Sagittarius needs most of all is empathy and understanding. This is because Sagittarius often feels so misunderstood or enjoys feeling so misunderstood in the world. They don’t necessarily need someone who understands them intellectually, mind you, but someone who understands them emotionally.
To actually fall in love, Sagittarius needs a challenge. They’re not necessarily looking for someone intelligent or confident or talented—just any of the above that will make them feel like they need to get a move in proving themselves. Love is a competition for Sagittarius. This is what makes falling in love with them seem so childlike. However, once the initial excitement has passed, the only thing that can prove devotion to Sagittarius is a sacrifice. They’re looking to go through something together, collect wisdom, and blend each other’s perspectives through suffering together.
Capricorn: Celebrate the self.
A lot of the time, Capricorn’s feel obligated to be in a relationship. They have a hard time being vulnerable and reacting with authenticity. The worst thing for a Capricorn is to be in a relationship where they feel needed in some way and like they are not able to change because someone else needs them. This is because Capricorn gets their strength from their flexibility.
A relationship in which Capricorn is allowed to be selfish, to know the self, and to celebrate the self is one where they will be happy. This is because Capricorn so rarely gets a chance to celebrate themselves. It’s much easier for a Capricorn to talk about what their partner needs than to talk about what they need. If a relationship can make them feel more genuine and more immediate in their expression of every emotion, then it’s one where they will feel happy.
Aquarius: A place to come back to.
For an Aquarius to pay attention to you, you have to be smart. You can’t just be book smart or one type of smart either—Aquarius wants someone with emotional intelligence, street savviness, and technical know-how. Of course, they are also looking for someone creative. The thing is, Aquarius does not see themselves as able to express themselves so people who do flabbergasts them and draw them in. However, the ideal relationship is one where Aquarius learns self-expression and not one where they rely on a partner to express everything for them.
The thing an Aquarius absolutely needs in a successful relationship is stability. They’re so changeable themselves that they need to be able to float off somewhere and then come back to a stable partnership. Actively working on ways to build trust is something Aquarius struggles with so they need a partner who can and is willing to show them how to do that. Being with an Aquarius is a little like being a bedrock in this way.
Pisces: Do we understand each other yet?
Communication, communication, and more communication—that’s what a Pisces needs. Misunderstanding is the bane of a Pisces existence so they may come into a relationship with a bunch of different communication strategies that require practical implementation. A Pisces needs to be able to take a walk and, more importantly, come back into a safe discussion place after a disagreement or misunderstanding. They need someone who is willing to sit there and pick apart every little detail of what went wrong and what could be better even if nothing is overtly wrong.
That being said, criticism is something Pisces is learning to handle. This means that they tend to freak out when they are criticized because they identify so strongly with their ideals. They need someone who can put together the little things in life and definitely someone aware of the physical world. Pisces is attracted to the idea of overcoming different social perspectives, such as race and class and talking them through. The most important thing a relationship can give them is the language to talk through this desire.