The Fashion Freak’s Guide To Rocking The Rainbow In A Non-Basic Way

Fashion dykes, we’ve got you covered. Purr.

Photo by Pixlr /saksfifthaveune.com dollskill.com 

I love Pride with every fiber of my extremely lesbian being. WorldPride | Stonewall 50 quite frankly feels like the giant New York City LGBTQ+ love affair I’ve been waiting to scandalously embark upon my entire life. I’m definitely the “other woman” in this scenario and I don’t hate it.

Zara as a baby lesbian 2004 Photo by Owen Gould

WorldPride means a lot of fabulous rainbows, though, doesn’t it? And while I love to sweetly gaze into a rainbow flag, I don’t love to wear rainbow attire. I feel sort of like a jackass anytime I rock rainbow attire and that greatly upsets me, as I like to dress as gay as humanly possible because I think I *might* be the gayest person alive.

However, after much deep and intensive research I found some rainbow-inspired garments that I definitely feel I could pull off. They are high-fashion, imaginative, weird, and yet also chic AF, which makes me think a lot of you hardcore fashionistas might enjoy these lewks as well (or you’ll detest them because real fashion people are wildly opinionated and bitchy. I respect that. Purr. Tell me how much you hate my editorial eye in the comments! It really turns me on).

Here goes, babes. Let’s start with shoes.


Rainbow-studded gradient 90s-inspired slides

dollskill.com

These remind me of all the cool, cigarette-smoking, teen babysitters I worshipped (also had mild crushes on) in the seventh grade. How about you? Channel your inner-cool this WorldPride with mother-f*cking slides. Buy ’em here.


Rainbow sparkle dyke boots are the new “it” boots. 

dollskill.com

I love platforms as much as the next guy — however. Just last weekend I fell at a very bougie private Pride party (right in front of Lea Delaria no less) in my giant rainbow mega heels. I don’t want that for you. I want you to fall because you’re intoxicated or fall to your knees in gratitude, not because your heels are too tall from which to function. Trade in the sky-high’s with some chunky, sexy, rainbow-inspired dyke boots! Shop ’em here.


If you don’t at least lust after stupidly expensive Rainbow Sneakers, are you even a fashion gay? (answer: hell no). 

us.zadig-et-voltaire.com

These Zadig & Voltaire rainbow-inspired sneakers might be about $398 but if you can buy them, I think that you should. Because I think they’re iconic and I think over-priced and inaccessible casual footwear is the definition of iconic. If you can’t buy them, here’s some good pricey-shoe porn to get you by. (Editor’s Update: They’re now on sale for $199.) Buy them here.


Gay purple vans for all genders. 

zumiez.com

LOVE, love, love these old-skool skater-babe rainbow-inspired bad girls. Rock ’em to your local skate park in some shredded black denim shorts and oversized David Bowie tee. They will look extra fly if you pose in ’em next to a California palm tree whilst clutching a 40 and a skateboard. Buy ’em here. 


Queer AF face jewels will make you slay all goddamn day. 

dollskill.com

Love has no gender, and neither do face jewels. Stick these little bitches on your face, your chest, your hands and most of all, your friends. If you go full body, you’ll look like an exotic queer leopard with crystals in lieu of spots. Shop ’em here, you lovely little queer!


Tacky/cool joggers to ignite your inner queer rave bitch. 

dollskill.com

Nothing makes me feel more chic and more gay than sporting pants with a crotch that hangs well past my knees. I like to keep the basic bitches guessing with these electric neon leopard print snake print wacky-core pants! Rock ’em with badass boots and you’ll definitely get laid. Buy them here.

Also, if you think harem pants are ugly, I happen to think you’re ugly. Purr. 


Rainbow-Inspired lolita bow or bust. 

Just because you’re queer doesn’t mean you don’t get to rock a pervy bow! It just has to be rainbow, that’s all! Buy this lovely, dark (energetically), over-sized pride bow here. 


Rainbow hearts, not rainbow farts! 

dollskill.com

This high waisted bikini is for all the WorldPride cuties who would rather lounge at the Soho house pool than get sweaty in the sun. WorldPride pool cuties, I see you, I validate you, I get you, I am you. Buy this most perfect bathing suit here. 


Badass Puppies who are tiny and feel safe in cashmere will LOVE this sweater from the Saks Fifth Avenue/Stonewall 50 Pride Collection! 

saksfifthavenue.com

I know that little barking chihuahua of yours has pride. Let your fur baby express themselves in this badass, “don’t f*ck with me” sweater! Buy this for your shaking little wiener dog right here!


I mean why not spend $5,495 on this Judith Leiber Couture Rainbow Christopher Cat Clutch? 

saksfifthaveune.com

If you don’t have an extra $6,000 sitting around for a crystal cat purse wearing a RAINBOW sweater, how do you have enough money to live in NYC? So stop being cheap and get this wonder of a kitty klutch here.

Happy WorldPride bitches!

XO,

Zara

Your Lesbian Big Sister 

 

 


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