After The Ultimatum: Where Are They Now?

Featured image: (Above L-R) Dayna & Magan, Kyle & Bridget, Pilar & Haley. (Below L-R) Marita & Ashley, Britney & AJ, Marie & Mel. Photo courtesy of Netflix

We’re settling in to catch up with the unforgettable, fiercely iconic Season 2 cast of The Ultimatum: Queer Love. For those just tuning in, the Netflix reality series The Ultimatum throws couples into the ultimate relationship pressure cooker: one partner is ready to say “I do,” the other is not. The twist? Everyone splits up for a trial marriage with another cast member before deciding whether to commit or call it quits. 

Season 2 turned up the heat with a bold, vibrant cast of queer couples navigating love, identity, and life-altering decisions under the Miami sun. But this wasn’t just drama for drama’s sake. The show offered something rare on reality TV: a nuanced portrait of queer love in all its messiness and beauty. It captured a spectrum of gender identities and relationship styles, and even in its wildest moments, we saw couples willing to sit with their feelings, do the work, and come out stronger. Sure, there was plenty of popcorn-worthy chaos, but The Ultimatum also made queer relationships visible, complex, and real. 

So, let’s dive into the messy aftermath—because let’s be honest, we’ve all been dying to know what really happened after the cameras stopped rolling. 

Kyle & Bridget

“[My wedding] will be my Met Gala,” Bridget jokes to GO over Zoom, flashing her gorgeous engagement ring at the camera. Designed by celebrity jewelry designer Kyle Chan, the ring shines with both Bridget’s and her partner Kyle’s birthstones embedded. 

Bridget and Kyle started their Ultimatum journey like most couples: a little unsteady and unsure how to move forward. By the end, though, they’d become one of the most beloved pairings. Online fans hailed them as one of the season’s “least problematic couples.” Not only did they keep the drama to a minimum, they left happily engaged—a huge switch-up for Bridget, who had been given the ultimatum. Surprisingly, Bridget was the one to get down on one knee in the final episode, proclaiming their love for Kyle and warming fans’ hearts. 

The couple hasn’t scheduled a wedding yet. After keeping their engagement a secret for a year, “it feels like our engagement is almost just starting, so I think we want a few years to enjoy it before we start any serious planning,” says Kyle. 

Following the show, fans quickly discovered Bridget’s friendship with fellow queer reality star Gabby Windey, a connection Bridget kept quiet during casting. “I kind of hid our friendship from social media during the whole application process, because I really didn’t want that to be at all a reason that we got cast.” But Gabby’s career didn’t influence their decision. “She didn’t really have much to do with it, other than seeing it as a possibility, whereas I never would have even thought it would have crossed my mind to go on one,” Bridget says.

As a gender-diverse couple—both use she/they pronouns—Kyle and Bridget brought a different kind of love story to reality TV. “I’d never seen a couple like Bridget and me on a reality show. A non-binary couple. So that was exciting to be able to be the representation that I didn’t have,” says Kyle. 

The couple has never fallen into a masc/femme dynamic, instead landing somewhere in between. “We don’t have any clear set rules…That’s the kind of relationship that I love being in. And I think that it’s fun to be with someone who also feels more fluid in their gender.” Kyle has already seen how many people they’ve touched. “It’s been great to have people reach out and appreciate seeing a relationship like ours.” 

The experience also reshaped Bridget’s perspective on marriage. “Getting to talk to a bunch of other queer people about how they think of marriage and what they think their marriage would look like was really cool,” Bridget says. “It really just was a reframe. Kyle’s idea of what it means to her is all I should care about, and what it means to me is all we should care about.” 

Before reuniting with Kyle, Bridget spent the trial marriage with Ashley honing relationship skills. “We were really good at being super blunt with each other and calling each other out, and feeling safe enough to tell each other our shortcomings in a really nice way,” Bridget tells GO. 

While we didn’t see much of their relationship on screen, Bridget says that time was crucial. “Ashley and I talked a lot about what might have been holding her back from doing these grander gestures within her relationship.” Being together gave them both room to grow. “It was beautiful to see her have the confidence to talk about things that were on her mind, and I was just really proud of her.” 

Kyle’s growth was more behind the scenes. “I mellowed out more, and I opened up more, which you just don’t see,” Kyle says. “I came across much more awkward and uncomfortable than I actually am all the time.” 

What did the show get right? Bridget says some of the show’s tension was very real, including the moment she called out AJ for flirting with multiple cast members and leading them on. While the two are on much better terms now, Bridget says it wasn’t the first time they got into an uncomfortable spat. “I had had a very similar conversation with AJ one-on-one at the mixer the night before. They didn’t show it, but I wanted to have that conversation not in front of a bunch of people,” shares Bridget. “And since I, at that point, wasn’t going to choose her, I was honest and I tried to be respectful.” 

Despite their happy ending, The Ultimatum was a real test of communication for the couple. “I thought I had a real handle on it, and I had improved, which I had, but I didn’t factor in how a change in environment and a high stress place can kind of bring up old stuff that you thought you’ve worked through,” says Kyle. Bridget compares the experience to “ripping off a million band-aids at once and figuring it all out.” 

Since moving in together, they’re focused on carving out time for one another. “We dedicated one day where neither of us would be working, since we both have more unconventional jobs. So every Sunday, no matter what, we start the day by having breakfast,” Kyle shares. “I look forward to it every week.” 

And their family is already growing, in a way. The couple has ‘adopted’ the crows that visit their patio. Bridget is still workshopping names: “Crolivia,” “Crosephina,” or “Crowseph.” “We lay out food for them, and then they come in and they eat their nuts, and we’re developing a relationship with them,” Kyle says. It’s an unexpectedly sweet ending for two lovebirds who once questioned their future—and are now building one together.

AJ & Britney 

AJ and Britney rode the wild rollercoaster that was Season 2, and made it out not only as one of the most likable and buzzed-about couples, but as fiancées. From AJ’s flirty charm to their now-iconic oxtail dinner table showdown, their journey kept viewers hooked. 

Away from the spotlight, life has returned to its familiar rhythm—dog walks with Duke Nathaniel and playtime with their spotted bunny, Bello, who has become something of a local celebrity since their time on the show. 

“We were getting tagged a lot when the casting photos came out for The Ultimatum: Queer Love. At the time, we were having trouble with our conversations surrounding marriage,” AJ admits, glancing down at their dog from their home in Orlando, Florida. It was Britney who first brought up the idea of going on the show, seeing it as a unique opportunity to work through their issues in a structured and intentional way. “We were just like any other typical lesbian relationship, like, ‘Oh my god, I love you. Let’s get married,’” Britney laughs. “And then I think what changed for us was me opening a business. I started to indulge myself a lot more than I bargained for.” 

After opening VitaLuxx IV Lounge & Med Spa in Orlando, Britney poured herself into the business, and the foundation of her relationship with AJ began to quietly shift. The couple once fantasized about rings, vows, and building a future together—but even the simplest conversations about marriage became tense. Britney’s emotional distance was hard to ignore; at the same time, AJ says, “For me, it was also like ‘How do I show up for Britney?’”

By the time they arrived on the show, both AJ and Britney knew they were at a crossroads. For Britney, the show was a chance to take a step back from overworking and learn to be more present. For AJ, it was a push to show up more consistently. 

For the trial marriages, AJ chose to pair up with Marie, a match that challenged how they were both used to navigating relationships. At first, AJ struggled to get Marie to open up emotionally, a reflection of some of the issues with Britney. “I think there’s just so much that Marie was dealing with during that time. It was really hard to get her to open up. I know it looks like you see me sneak out to go see Britney, but Marie knew all these things,” AJ says. “It was really hard to navigate that for myself, because I’ve never been in a position to see someone who you didn’t really know open up so much. It taught me how to handle certain conversations and to understand what that meant for her, and also be a great listener.” 

Meanwhile, Britney used her trial marriage with Marita as a chance to rethink how she shows up in her relationship with AJ. “I think it was rewarding that I was able to be that trial partner for [Marita],” Britney says. “I learned that I can be that for someone, I am that someone, and she helped me address just as much. We were able to feed off each other and become really vulnerable.” 

Off camera, AJ and Britney’s decision to go on the show initially shocked their families. But surprise soon gave way to support as loved ones saw it as a bold step toward clarity and growth.

“My family was a little bit nervous because of visibility purposes. They’re already nervous about us being Black and gay in this day and age of America,” AJ says. “More visibility, more people knowing who you are—was a big deal for them. But they were able to get over it and be really supportive in the moment.” 

Their families remained supportive throughout filming and beyond, even filming moments on the show that didn’t make the final cut. AJ and Britney were disappointed to see so much of their story left out. 

“I wish they showed me and Britney’s storyline a little bit more, besides me crying about insecurities and oxtail,” AJ says. “There were just so many more deep conversations that we had about being Black, being part of the LGBTQ community, what that looks like in everyday life when you’re part of both communities trying to make it one. We really talked about life outside of a reality TV show and what it looks like for us moving through this world.”

Despite their disappointment, Britney and AJ emerged from the experience with a renewed sense of clarity and a deeper commitment to each other. These days, they’re soaking up the engaged life, finally able to flaunt the title after a little over a year of playing it cool in public. Their wedding plans might still be up in the air, but they already have a vision: a twilight forest ceremony in Seattle, complete with a performance by The Weeknd. 

Pilar

Pilar wears many hats: DJ Dr. D, who might have you dancing at the club till your knees ache; Dr. Dizon, the physical therapist who can fix them the next morning; and now, perhaps the most important title of all, fiancée. 

Even with Pilar’s packed schedule, her partner Haley still found the perfect moment to make her own reciprocal proposal after Pilar offered one to Haley on the show. “I thought she was gonna [propose] in ten or eleven months because that’s Haley’s style,” Pilar tells GO. But Haley had other plans. 

“She did it one month later,” Pilar laughs. The setting was beyond meaningful. “The first concert Haley and I ever went to was at the Fox Theater when we saw Zedd in Oakland. And then I actually got asked to open for Alok at the Fox Theater. And then she got on stage. I thought she was gonna announce the person after me, and then she started getting all sappy. And I’m like, ‘Haley, why are you talking about me so much?’… Then she started crying, and I’m like, ‘Oh, she’s proposing right now.’” 

This radiant, confident Pilar, excited to show off her beautiful ring, is a far cry from the woman we met in The Ultimatum’s first episodes. Her growth is captured in every tearful moment. “I swear I sobbed maybe seven times in the entire time, and those were the seven times that were shown,” she jokes. But those scenes also document the quiet shifts that came with confronting her fears. 

At the start of filming, Pilar was not ready to say ‘I do.’ “I knew there were a lot of things that I was working through, but I didn’t realize the depth of [it].” Her family’s lack of acceptance weighed heavily on her relationship with Haley, and the process of filming felt like “forced therapy,” she says with a laugh. 

The work wasn’t over after the show, either. “When I saw my extended family, I felt myself kind of going backwards,” Pilar says. “I needed to sit with that part of myself and just be so proud and just also accept the fact that I’m gonna lose some people on the way, and that’s okay.” Pilar set new boundaries with her family. “This was my first time to be like, no, this is my fiancée. I’m so proud of our relationship and where I’ve come and my relationship with my family now. I set that boundary for the first time. If you can’t accept me and Haley and everything we are, I can’t have a relationship with you anymore.”

She hasn’t lost hope for reconciliation, though. In August, Pilar shared a video of her Mom hugging Haley for the first time, with the caption, “It gets better!” She says, “I think now, just being so proud and just not letting anyone affect my mental health, I feel like I’m more confident.” 

That confidence has also shifted how she thinks about weddings and marriage. “I had this idea of a wedding and getting given away and the father-daughter dance.” Pilar admits she felt guilty about not being able to give Haley the perfect wedding, but Haley is just happy to be with her. “One of the things I remember she said to me, she said, ‘Pilar, I’m marrying you, not your family.’” 

Today, Pilar says their relationship is stronger than ever. “If we can get through The Ultimatum, we can literally get through anything.” They’re planning a gorgeous, non-traditional wedding. “We’re gonna have two aisles,” she jokes. 

After the show, Pilar got a tattoo reading, “Let them,” as a reminder to herself to keep moving forward in life, even if her family has been a little behind. “Coming out of the show now, I really do feel like I’ve shed so much weight and layers,” Pilar says. Although her journey with family acceptance isn’t over, she’s in a very different place than she was before The Ultimatum. “I just feel like I’m not afraid anymore.” 

Marita 

Marita’s desire has always been simple: she wants romance. Viewers watched her fall for AJ, stand firm when her feelings grew conflicted, and finally experience the kind of care she’d been longing for with Britney. She found the courage to ask her original partner, Ashley, for more romance and ultimately left the reunion stronger than ever, as part of the only couple this season that did not get engaged on the show.

Since the show ended, fans have praised Marita for standing up for what she wants and refusing to settle for less. “If you’re not getting what you know you deserve, and you’re feeling like you’re not worth it—that’s when it starts to be degrading to your mental health, and setting yourself free from that cage can completely change your life.” 

Marita had a few stand-out moments that made Ultimatum meme history (that oxtail dinner is living rent-free in our heads), but she says so much more was happening behind the cameras. And it all started with her and Ashley. 

“I would wake up every day and know that it wasn’t where I should be,” Marita says about her relationship with Ashley. “Our connection was just like, gravitating towards me, and I couldn’t let that go for the longest time, even though I knew I deserved better.” 

The show helped her break out of that pattern, even if it was scary. “I don’t think I would have gotten to this point without going through the experience.” After receiving the ultimatum, Marita discovered a new love for herself. “The experience really just helped me mature as a person and feel like I came back to my energy. I came back to my worth. I came back to the person that I am.” 

Her trial marriage with Britney was a turning point, and she lights up when she says that she wouldn’t have changed a thing. Although the two didn’t match romantically, Marita is grateful. “Truly, the universe brought me exactly what I needed at the right time, because I was yearning so much for just compassion and consideration and care from the person that I was with.” 

While other trial couples were exchanging ‘I love you’s’ and bonding over matching tattoos, Marita says she was relieved about her friendship match-up with Britney. “I didn’t go onto that show to fall in love with someone else. I knew that at the end of this, I wanted to make a decision for myself and what I know I deserve.” Their friendship became a key part of her personal growth. “I’m just proud of myself. I’m happy with the love that I was receiving, even though it was platonic. It was still very deep.” 

Since The Ultimatum, Marita has re-entered the dating pool and is exploring relationships with femme women. Although she and Britney are just good friends, Marita says there were a few moments in their trial marriage that opened her eyes to the benefits of femme-for-femme. “There’s a video of Britney doing my lip gloss, and it’s just sexy… I’m like, f*ck, that’s really hot.” 

Femme or masc, Marita says she’s searching for the basics: a connection, eye contact, and maybe some roses or colorful flower arrangements. She’s looking forward to being on the receiving end of romance. “I always was chasing…like I’m trying to convince you to want to be with me…Now I feel like I’ve discovered my worth.”

Ashley 

“It’s wild because I remember watching The Ultimatum, and being with Marita at the time, I was like ‘We would never do this,’” Ashley laughs from her home in Denver, adjusting the cream-colored baseball cap on her head. What followed was far more intense—and transformative—than she could have ever imagined. 

Now, after everything she’s been through, Ashley is embracing single life on her own terms. No ultimatums, no pressure—just plenty of healing, reality TV binges, and getting to know herself outside of a relationship. 

Much of that journey began during her trial marriage with Bridget, which set her on a path towards self-confidence and self-worth. “I really learned to value the qualities that I do bring to a relationship and value myself as a person, because I did not when I came onto that show,” she explains. “I learned a lot about communication and how it’s important not to react in fear of people’s reactions when I want to tell them something. And just put my feelings first, and be like, ‘It’s ok to talk about how I feel sometimes’ and not put my partner first over myself.” 

Onscreen, Ashley often came across as quiet, guarded, even emotionless. Some online fans went so far as to say she had “no personality,” a take she feels misses the full picture. “I really wish they would have just included more of my story and journey. I think I was very genuine as someone finding themselves after going through some of the domestic violence I went through [in past relationships] and working through that, refining my voice,” she says. “After being with someone like Marita, who has always overpowered my personality, I wish they really would have shown my depth.” 

While the edit may have flattened her presence, Ashley has found validation elsewhere. She’s stayed close with castmates like Mel, Kyle, Bridget, Dayna, and Magan—friends she made during filming who have since become real-life emotional anchors. 

Taking back her proposal to Marita wasn’t just a plot twist—it was a seismic decision. Over a year later, it still feels fresh. Since cutting ties with Marita, Ashley has focused on setting emotional boundaries and making space to process everything that happened. 

“I’m not big into dating right now. It’s not at the top of my mind because it’s too much effort and energy. I’m still dealing with a lot of things from the show, and still dealing with Marita, trying to put that to rest,” she says. Moving forward, Ashley knows it will come down to who is truly worth her time. “But dating is scary,” she laughs. “Lesbians are scary.” 

The breakup may have been messy, but it was never just for TV. “How Marita and I ended was ugly. But there are two sides to every story, and not one side is the full truth. There’s truth behind each person and what they went through, but I’d say each person’s feelings are valid. I want people to understand we’re people. Marita’s and my relationship was real. It was five years of being with this person, and it wasn’t just all for nothing.” 

Dayna & Magan 

If love is a battlefield, Dayna and Magan didn’t just survive The Ultimatum: Queer Love; they walked away victorious. From steamy trial marriages to impulsive matching tattoos (with the wrong partners) and a quizzical sex playlist controversy, they did what few reality TV couples manage: they left engaged. Now off-screen and still together, they’re focused on building a life beyond the drama. 

Since quitting their jobs to film the show, the couple has embraced their new roles as queer influencers, making appearances at watch parties, posing for a tomboyx photoshoot, and being invited to this year’s Dinah.

Embarking on reality TV stardom “wasn’t anything that we took seriously for quite some time,” Dayna tells GO from the couple’s Detroit apartment. “Applying was a joke. We got called back so quickly after that—we were kind of shocked. We didn’t think we’d ever get called.” She’s cozied up next to Magan, who adds, “We were doing the interviews thinking they weren’t going to pick us, and we were like, ‘We’ll see how far we can get with this.’” 

Before officially dating for a year and a half—and before Dayna gave Magan the ultimatum—the two had spent eight months in a situationship. Magan had wrestled with hesitations about commitment and marriage due to the influence of her Lebanese family and their traditional expectations. Dayna was ready to take the next step, but struggled with doubts about their standing as a couple. 

“What you don’t see in the show is I have a lot of fears and insecurities towards Magan that we were kinda working through in our relationship since that situationship that came out badly,” Dayna says. “I didn’t realize I was still holding onto it.” 

Dayna eventually realized that Magan’s reluctance to commit stemmed from not feeling fully accepted, especially by her family. “I told my family I was going on the show, and they didn’t talk to me for two months. In the culture, things are kept very private. When it comes to relationships, love, stuff like that, it’s behind closed doors… But especially in this circumstance where I’m with a girl and it’s kinda forbidden, they were upset, like, ‘Why are you publicizing this?’” Magan explains. 

Looking back, they both acknowledge that their trial marriages were messy, sometimes painful, and far from flawless. But they’re not apologizing for them. It pushed them to emotional limits they hadn’t anticipated, and it ultimately brought them closer.

“It sucks that it happened publicly. I put something I love so deeply in jeopardy. I so selfishly moved through it, and I made so many choices that were so ill-thought through,” Dayna admits. “The regret is the worst thing we can do at this point. We got what we wanted out of it. Our main goal was to have Magan comfortable in her skin and her family comfortable with us, and we have that. And not only that, but to be comfortable being out and who we are, and we have that too. So it’s kind of like our relationship is better than I could have ever imagined.” 

Over time, Magan’s family began to understand the depth of her relationship with Dayna. Despite initial concerns about Magan going on the show, they FaceTimed her and stayed in touch throughout filming, which helped reconcile their cultural expectations with Magan’s authentic queer self. 

“Being on the show, and talking to them about what my struggles were really bridged the gap, and caught them up to where I was at in life,” Magan says. She even jokes that, surprisingly, her family were the only people who really understood the drama she was navigating.

“I told them everything that happened between me and Dayna. They know about my trial marriage, they know about her trial marriage, it was crazy because strangely they got it,” laughs Magan. “They didn’t pass judgment; they were just trying to be there, which is crazy because it was hard for us not to pass judgment on each other.” 

While they have no wedding plans yet, Dayna and Magan are savoring the comfort of growing closer to each other’s families. They’re embracing this new chapter with excitement and openness: traveling together, exploring new places as fiancées, and even starting a business—though that’s all they’ll tease for now. One thing is certain: the adventure is just beginning. 

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Claire Alexander is a writer and comedian based in NYC, as well as the editor of women’s sports satire publication, LadyBalls News.

Kayley Cassidy is a journalist and writer based in New York City. Her work is influenced by her passion and advocacy for LGBTQ+ issues.