Ask the Expert! Get Answers to Your Relationship Questions!

Executive Matchmaker and Relationship Counsellor, Carol-Sugar-Burke, offers expert love advice.

Dear Carol,

I hate to admit it, but every time I think I’ve met someone great and we begin dating it starts with a bang and then I find myself bored. Either they’re not intelligent enough or they just don’t have enough outside interests or they’re too much of a couch potato. I know that what attracts me, initially, is their appearance. I am a beautiful woman and want to date someone as attractive as I am. The women I’m attracted to, though, just don’t seem to have enough depth.  Does attraction grow? Perhaps if I met someone who was not as beautiful would the chemistry follow? I have tons of interests and I am a worldly, cultured executive who has a fun, spontaneous side; I just want to meet someone similar to myself.  Is that asking too much?



Dear Hopeful,

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and as you know looks are subjective. Anyone can take a pretty picture, but sometimes stunningly beautiful women are just not photogenic. Looks can grow on you, however. Yes, there’s got to be a physical attraction. But someone who has all the personality traits you’re looking for, who makes you laugh and smile may not be the woman who initially turned everyone’s head when she walked into the room. She may be the quiet beauty with the great smile, beautiful skin, amazing figure and bright green eyes, sitting at a table, talking to a friend. Sometimes we have to give ourselves the opportunity to let the chemistry follow. There are thousands of beautiful women out there, and looks are only skin deep. There’s much more to a relationship than just a pretty face.

Keep on looking; she is out there!



Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for NY’s premier gay and lesbian matchmaking service Bespoke Matchmaking.

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