Happy (early) National Coming Out Day, my beautiful LGBTQ+ family! Every year on October 11th, we celebrate all the brave, proud, amazing gay babes in the world. We see you, we love you, and we are so glad you’re here! And if you aren’t out for whatever reason, we love you, and we will always be here.
According to our friends at The Human Rights Campaign, 31 years ago, on the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, National Coming Out Day was first celebrated as a reminder that one of our most basic tools is the power of coming out.
We agree — there is tremendous power in coming out. Coming out is an act of resistance, survival, and freedom. Coming out gives visibility, power, and courage to queer people who still feel like they have to hide. Coming out takes up space, challenges heteronormativity, and says, “I AM HERE AND I AM QUEER.” Plus, you have to come out if you want to date and get laid, duh.
There are so many reasons and ways to come out. Our coming out stories are just as diverse as our wonderful community! Here are 11 of our favorite coming out stories. Share yours in the comments! xo
A Lesbian Vagina
“I came out to my mom at the gynecologist. I had had an irregular pap-smear and needed to get my cervix scraped (vom). My mom came in the office with me because I was terrified, and I blurted out that I slept with women as she helped me fasten my paper gown. For some paranoid reason, I thought the doctor was going to reveal that I had a rare lesbian vaginal ailment. ‘You have bigger problems than that right now,’ my mom said in her impossibly thick Brooklyn accent. My cervix was fine, and so was my mom with me being gay.”
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-Yours Truly
The Party Girl
“I skipped school with my first girlfriend. She was older than me, and I thought she was the coolest person ever. She invited me to keep hanging out with her much older friends, but I had the strictest curfew and my family had no idea I even skipped school that day — until I found out the school called my Mom and she was angrily looking for me. In my embarrassment and panic, I called my Mom and blurted I was gay, had a girlfriend, and didn’t want to come home because I didn’t want to get in trouble. I came home the next day fearing for the worse. Magically, my Mom was calm and sat me down to say she always knew. I was relieved because I was finally out, but even more so because I got away with skipping school.”
-Vanessa
Duh…
“When I was 14 or so, I supposedly came out to my parents. And I say ‘supposedly’ because when I was finally able say the words ‘Mommy, I’m gay’ without skipping a beat, she said ‘Honey, I know. Hell, I’ve known that since you were 4 years old!'”
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-Craig
The Best Gift
“My initial coming out was nothing special, but I wish I had known that I would be coming out for the rest of my life. I have the privilege of only coming out when I feel safe to do so, while so many of our brothers and sisters do not have that privilege. That being said, I always try to live loud and proud when I know I am safe, because being a big ol’ queer is the best gift I have been given!”
-Arielle
Threesome Epiphany
“One of the many times I realized I was a lesbian was when I was in the throes of a high school threesome. Me and the girl suddenly locked eyes and completely ignored the boy. My higher-self (I call her Sharon) came swooping into the room and said, ‘Girl, you’ve got two genders in your bed, and you’re only interested in ONE.’ Suddenly it became blazingly apparent to me that I was a full blast mega dyke. I didn’t feel ashamed. I felt ready to bust out my Dr. Martin boots and stomp around town!”
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-Zara
It Gets (A Lot) Better
“When my sister told my parents I was gay, they treated me like I pariah until I was finally able to leave (it was actually harder than it sounds). I marched and demonstrated, maintained dialogue anyway, then I put all that in a book (actually, several). I didn’t become all the horrible things they thought I would at the time. I fell in love, got married, am known for my books, and have a development deal with OUT-TV for these stories. Oh, and I finally graduated from college. It gets better!”
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-JD
Happy Fagsgiving
“I came out on Thanksgiving — cliche, I know. I was sitting in the back seat of my parents’ car on my way home from my aunt’s house in Dyker (lol) Heights, Brooklyn. I was staring out of the window at the Belt Parkway when Solange’s ‘I Decided pt. I’ started to play, and I, all of a sudden, was having trouble breathing. My mom and Dad continuously asked me what was wrong, until the only words I could muster were ‘I’m a fag.'”
-Nico
Reimagining My Future
“I came out my sophomore year in high school and again in college when I realized that I wasn’t attracted to men at all. Both times were difficult because my reality was changing. Many people talk about the relief but don’t mention how it feels to realize that you have to reimagine your whole future sometimes. It took a lot of time to allow myself to view my life through that lens, but now, my family and I are looking forward to a very rainbow wedding sometime in the future — and lots of lesbian adventures.”
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-A’Kala
Coming Out (Again)
“Coming out as a lesbian was easy; I absolutely knew I was attracted to women. Coming out as trans was a lot harder. It felt burdensome to ask the people around me to use a new name and pronouns. But it’s always worth it, because I wake up as myself every day.”
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-Nik
The Kodak Moment That Outed Me
“My first pride was in Chicago back when I was 17 or so. I brought a disposable camera because there was no such thing as a camera phone back then. We partied our gay asses off, and it was a blast. My mom, being the nice caring person she is, decided to develop the film for me. Needless to say, I had to explain some pretty embarrassing/compromising photos from that weekend.”
-Kara
What Do You Think?