This eclipse season doesn’t want to take away our egos. It wants us to understand them.
The solar eclipse on January 6 is pretty powerful. Not only is it close to Pluto, but also Mars is conjunct Chiron at the same time. We’re reminded of old pain. If we are not living wholeheartedly in the present, then we’ll carry and project those resentments into our current circumstances. You may get angry at your friend or your partner or your child, but the person you’re really mad at is your mom when you were a teenager or that teacher who never believed in you in high school or the best friend you lost while growing up.
Actually, the one you’re mad at is yourself: the person who survived those situations but didn’t handle them the way your hindsight bias wants you to have handled them.
These are feelings that can make us insecure in early January. After all this time, there are parts of ourselves that still live in the past. When you tell yourself to “get over it,” you’re digging that old self deeper and deeper into hiding.
Since the solar eclipse is a new moon, it wants us to stop doing for a little while so that we can get our hearts back in place and heads back on our shoulders. It wants us to learn the infinite capacity of looking so that we’re able to trust in our own grand visions. So it won’t help you to stay busy this new moon, which will lead to burn out and apathy. You’ll need to learn to take a break and allow yourself space and time to do nothing.
The full moon this month is a lunar eclipse. This bloody full moon is hungry for a sacrifice. In order to live your true ego self, you must stage a sacrifice of your false ego self. It is important to take stock of your insecurities beforehand, so that you understand what your false ego is made of and why it’s shaped the way it is to protect you from false fears. Get to know those fears well enough to force them to be friendly and force yourself to be friendly with them.
During the full moon, let that false ego become humiliated. The humiliation will only make you stronger. It’s not a humiliation of your true self, but the self that you pretend to be, the self that makes you feel false and distrusting, the self that is too plastic to wear any longer. Humiliation is the only thing that can kill this false ego self. Only then will you earn easeful and peaceful self-love.
Any false ideas of success will not survive this eclipse season. If you’re busy because you’re basing your self-love on external measures of status, then you’ll get burned out and humiliated. This is because you, wild child of the first season, are here to make new things happen, and these new things cannot be validated by the old and remain alive.
Stop giving a fuck about what others think of you and what you’re doing, and then see what you want to accomplish. Chances are, it’s better than (and nothing like) what people expect of you. But first, you have to whittle yourself down to be strong enough to shrug off those expectations.
Kill the self that you created to fulfill a role that your teachers wanted you to play, whether it’s the good student or the class clown. This is a survival shell that you don’t need to wear all day, every day. Learn to take it off, and put it back on only when the situation calls for it. You can be smart without being used or graded. You can be critical without engaging in debate.
Humiliate the self that needs institutional validation because you don’t need that. You don’t need validation to be yourself. Your false self will never be as curious as your real self. Prioritize the curiosity above all else.
Social capital will never make you a more worthwhile person, whether that’s participating in cliques or fishing for likes. You have to kill the self that you’ve constructed to gather those likes and that influence. What do you really want others to know you for, depend on you for, and know that you care about? Stop giving a fuck about what people think of what you care about. Keep living your life.
Giving all of your energy to a screen will cut your attention span in half and detract from your wondrous mind. Take that back this month and create boundaries around technology.
Stop giving a fuck about how other people react to your needs, such as whether they’ll be able to take it or whether they’ll hate you for having new boundaries. If you base your self-love on other people’s acceptance, then you’ll only resent yourself and others more. Your needs are beautiful, Cancer, because they’re human and because you’re able to fulfill and express them in your own way. Your needing will give others the license to need as well.
Allow yourself your own company just for a few days. Resist the urge to latch on. Humiliate your codependent nurturer ego because you don’t need it to be someone worthy of all that you need.
You don’t have to appear to be strong just so that no one ever sees you as weak. You won’t earn love by making yourself invincible. The self that you must humiliate is the one that believes you can only be weak and self-pitying when you’re alone. You can be joyous and celebratory when you’re alone, and you’re able to show your sadness and tenderness in public. There doesn’t need to be a hard line between those two states. Change it up a bit this month, Leo, and celebrate your successes privately and love your vulnerability publicly. If you feel embarrassed, then you’re only growing.
Lay your actual ego on the line and risk humiliation. You have made it strong with daily self-critique. It is now time to rest a little easier with yourself. This month, you may feel irritation or annoyance when you see others who are confident in who they are, but only because you don’t allow yourself the same easy self-love. Kill the self that wants you to be harder and harder on yourself. Humiliate it by realizing that self-flagellation wins you no praise.
Allow yourself the pleasure of changing interaction patterns to suit your own purposes instead. If someone offers you two bad choices, don’t beat yourself up for making the wrong one. Create a third option.
You fear because you’re alone, but you’ve been forced to be alone for quite some time now. You fear being at a low point, not realizing that you can only go up once you’re there. You’ve been accumulating potential energy for all this time. Don’t let your downtime go to waste by worrying about what you’re missing out on or what you can accomplish. This is your holy time for rest.
Stop giving a fuck about what you’re giving up. You will give up a great number of things in this life, in order to move with the winds of time. Get used to the feeling and learn to love it, too. Making big decisions requires big sacrifices. Choose wisely and choose big.
The self you need to kill is the one that believes you are smarter than anyone else. You cannot possibly understand anyone better than they understand themselves, since you don’t walk in their shoes. That means no one understands you, either, until you decide to communicate. Humiliate the false ego that pretends everyone else is see-through by realizing that you are wrong about other people’s emotional histories.
Stop giving a fuck about whether you can outwit another person or not. Learn to laugh at yourself when you’re exposed and when you’re wrong. This sacrifice will show you the blind spots in your life, the ones you must live with and not try to cover up or wipe away.
No one values you by the things you have except yourself. The state of your possessions and financial history is your business and no one else’s. When you need to take space for yourself, no one needs to have an opinion except yours truly. Kill the self that needs to base self-esteem on how you position yourself and your time as a commodity.
You may need to humiliate yourself based on the tendency to estimate your self-worth by your earning potential. Do this in a healthy way that forces you to create priceless things. No one has the right to value anything but themselves. Respect this for yourself and others.
You’re not the only one who will make it to the end of your life with you. Your life will be shaped by countless people whose names you know and don’t know. If you over-identify as someone who is self-reliant, you’ll only disappoint yourself. Your boundaries must stay flexible for them to work as boundaries and not traps.
Humiliate the self that wants to go it alone, without assistance or support from anyone else. You will never be able to rely solely on your own strength. Let yourself be weak this month, at some point or another. Stop promoting your own strength as the only thing that makes others care about you.
Stop being afraid. You cannot be brave if you never turn your head to look at your fears. You will be alone if you purposefully and abrasively give off the air that you don’t need anyone in your life. Stop feeding your social anxiety by giving a fuck about the ways it sets you apart.
Kill the self that thinks it’s better to be isolated and safe. You are not better off that way, and you are not safe that way. Get involved in something and actually show that you care. No one but you will judge you for it.
Stop giving a fuck about whether your friends accept you or not. They all have insecurities of their own, and they’re not constantly looking at yours. This month, kill the ego that wants to be someone to everyone. You cannot be someone to everyone. You can only be you to yourself—and there are those who will see that and those who won’t.
You are not more generous than anyone else, and you shouldn’t hold yourself to that standard. You should be selfish when you need to be. When someone jumps down a hole on their own accord, learn to walk around it and stay on your path instead of jumping down while blaming them.