20 Cyber Monday Deals for 20 Types of Lesbians

Latex dresses! Button-ups! Eyeshadow! Strap-ons! All up to 90% off.

 

Happy Cyber Monday, lezzies! Whether you are dutifully buying gifts for relatives and friends or are selfishly loading up on clothes you don’t need (me), the internet is where it’s at today.

Cyber Monday might be my favorite holiday right after NYC Pride. What can I say? Shopping fills my emotional voids.

 

Photo by IG @__thewickedpink

I am a hopeless consumer. My entire Facebook ad feed is cluttered with clothing ads. I get DMs from Fashion Nova. I follow just about every Insta-boutique on earth. I embody many different styles ranging from fluffy pink princess to biker chick from hell, so I know a large array of stores. All of this is bad for my bank account but good for you, dear reader, because I’m about to drop the best Cyber Monday deals.

1) For the Witchy Femme.

Agashi by Christina O has the most divine sheer black gowns. Could you just die?! All of Christina’s styles are handmade to order. If you’re like me and your goal aesthetic is slutty Morticia, then you’ve struck gold. 30% off today; use code BF30ME.

2) For the Instagram Hoe.

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You bet your gay ass that I’m ordering this red latex get-up.

If you like to flex for the ‘gram, look no further than Fashion Nova. Kylie Jenner, queen of the Instagram hoes (I say this with love and admiration) frequently rocks Fashion Nova. This site is the MECCA. I have a $300 cart right now that I’m painstakingly removing items from. I want it all! They are always on top of trends, stay true to size, have a wide range of sizes, and the clothes are affordable! What’s better than that, you ask? The fact that the site is UP TO 90% OFF FOR CYBER MONDAY! Use code CYBER.

3) For the Chic Butch.

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Nothing is hotter to me than a masculine woman in a nice, crisp button-up. Express has the best quality, the best fit at the best price. I’ve swooned over enough butches to know that Express Men section is the go-to for chic and stylish masc women. 50% off site wide– no code needed!

4) For the Sultry Babe AKA The Carmen.

Thistle and Spire is one of my all-time favorite lingerie brands. The structure! The detail! The fit! A women-owned local (Brooklyn!) business, these babes make the sexiest, most luxurious (and most affordable!) lingerie around. Seriously obsessed. Use code FRIYAY for 30% off!

5) For the Rave Babe.

Little Black Diamond is THE BEST quality rave gear (trust me, I’ve done the legwork. I used to live at music festivals.) Ethically made in San Francisco, these amazing pieces will be sure to make you stand out this festival season. The entire site is up to 80% off. No discount code needed. These rainbow tops are marked down from $52 to just $18.99 and would be perfect for Pride. Never too early to start planning for our biggest holiday. 🙂

6) For the Aesthetic Dyke.

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Forever 21 has amazing, fashionable masculine styles. Their mens’ sweaters rival the expensive department store brands. *drool* And the whole site is 21% off! Use code CYBER21.

7) For the Brooklyn Babe always wearing ironic t-shirts.

 

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O-MIGHTY is the sh*t. They have the most clever t-shirts, crop tops and boob tubes I’ve ever seen. Sexy and funny, these pieces are sure to be a conversation starter. 45% off sitewide with code CYBERMONDAY.

8) For the Grunge Babe.

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Dolls Kill is LIFE. You know that really cool aloof girl on your Insta feed that is always posing in front of the refrigerated drinks at the bodega? Yeah, she wears Dolls Kill. And she is forever cooler than all of us. 30% off sitewide.

9) For the Dapper Butch.

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Oh, dapper butch, how we love you and your classy style. Fox and Brie Etsy shop has bowties and ties galore “for the modern gentleman, wherever he or she may wander.” Entire site marked down. 

10) For the Sad Girl.

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*Lana Del Rey plays softly in the background*

Olive and Frank has seriously amazing and original designs. My personal favorite is this Lana-inspired bomber jacket, cause, well, duh. Browse the rest of their site for equally cute designs, all marked down.

11) For the Shoe Whore.

Public Desire is the place to be if you are like Carrie Bradshaw and like to spend your money on fancy footwear. Always ahead of the curve trend-wise, Public Desire stays slaying. 30% off everything (even sale!) with code 30CYBER.

12) For the Hot Babe always reading Tarot Cards and Other Effortlessly Cool Stuff

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Vidakush has truly gorgeous jewelry and accessories. Every girl on their Instagram is hauntingly perfect. Discounts change hourly. Use code CYBERBABE.

13) For the Kinky Girl.

Alien Outfitters has some seriously cute BDSM-inspired clothes and panties. Plus some other kinky toys and accessories. Use code BLACKOUT for 50% off everything.

14) For the Home Decor Bae.

Ball and Chain Co is the site for you if you like to keep your bedroom looking like a Tumblr post. They have incredible tapestries by indie artists. I have this Johnny Gloom one hanging above my bed. 25% off entire site– no code needed!

15) For The Haute Butch.

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Haute Butch makes sexy menswear inspired suits with fit in mind. “Designed by and for Butches, studs and tomboy’s.” Suits are majorly marked down– hundreds of dollars in discounts!

16) For the Horny Girl. 

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Lovehoney is THE sex toy and lingerie destination. New discounts every hour. Be sure to try out their luxury vibrators!

17) For The Tomboy.

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TomboyX makes “underwear that any body could feel comfortable in, regardless of where they fell on the size or gender spectrum.” 30% off site-wide.

18) For Strap-on Users.

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RodeoH, my all-time favorite manufactures of no-fuss harnesses, is having a huge sale. No code needed. If you are intimidated by all the straps on a harness, fear not! These harness just slip right on, baby.

19) For the Art Hoe.

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Art hoe, you teach us so much and we love you. Society 6 is an amazing site featuring hundreds of products ranging from phone cases to tapestries, all featuring prints from talented artists. I am DROOLING over this comforter. Up to 40% off + free shipping entire site.

20) For the Makeup Lover.

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Melt Cosmetics is one of my favorite indie makeup brands. Incredible pigmentation, unique colors, and it is run by two entrepreneurial bad-ass babes! Up to 60% off select items.