Zara Barrie

As soon as that sweet little spring breeze makes its way through the static city sky and the air begins to smell like FLOWERS instead of SHIT — I’m totally and completely screwed.

The crazy things we put ourselves through to have sex!

It almost makes the hurt worth it.

Look in the mirror, babe.

Flannel had dumped Valentino.

Are you feeling super defensive about the title of this essay?

Google “how do lesbians have kids?” don’t ask me, OK?

For we would be lost lesbians without these magical humans.

Pay extra attention to her walk.

Check out our official list of party girl hacks.

What a time to be alive!

Shane inspired me to leave my boyfriend.

I never have a good goddamn time when I’m hungry.

Let her be wild.

Life is scary. Flirting with women is even scarier.

Eat dinner, jackass.

Throw parties that pay respectful homage to the original Sapphic Soap that changed our lives!

Think of a relationship like a small but chic studio apartment. The chic studio won’t look so chic if it’s full of massive, ugly suitcases, will it?

Did something go wrong in the lab? Am I the only lesbian who doesn’t care about sports?

Your profile picture is with a celebrity.

You’re always safe around a lez who can swing a hammer.

We couldn’t handle watching “Bound” in front of our peers and we couldn’t understand why.

Big lesbian sister tips to HELP you, babe, navigate the dark and stormy waters of dating sober.

A sexual woman must honor her sexual prowess.

Lesbians, this is a HUGE undertaking.

Be nice, be real, be sexy AF.

A seasoned lez tells it like it is.

Are you a leather babe or a glamour lez?

Host a potluck. You’ll be in for life.

Hydrate until you’re the Atlantic Ocean inside.

Act like the freak they secretly think you are.

It was all a (midsummer night’s) dream.

The misfit’s guide to “fitting in.”

Love is nuanced.

A guide to setting yourself free.

Bullies don’t influence people. They frighten people into peeling off their identities.