Six Questions: Misster at The Woods Edition
GO got the hottest lesbian takes from its most opinionated guests.
GO stopped by Amber Valentine’s inimitable party, Misster, at the Woods, to chat with some of its most opinionated guests. From scissoring hot takes and celebrity crushes to dating deal breakers, these women didn’t hold back.
Nicole (left) – she/her, bisexual, director & film photographer, 32
What’s your most controversial lesbian opinion? I need people to stop talking sh*t about scissoring. I love scissoring. Can we all scissor? Can we stop shaming the bisexuals who love to scissor?
Who would you elect for lesbian president and why? Can I nominate my 20-year-old woke lesbian barista named Ella? She’d be perfect. She’s fun, she’s political, cares about the people, and [she’s] so gorg!
What’s your toxic trait in relationships? I care too much.
What’s the most lesbian thing you’ve done this month? Coming to The Woods.
What’s your best tip for baby dykes? Wait, but I am the baby dyke! So, I can’t really give any tips.
What’s a dating standard you refuse to lower? Being affectionate in public. I am such an “all over you” kind of girl, and I want my lover to be the same way. You cannot be shy. I need someone who can make me feel like the prettiest girl in the room. Like yes, let’s make out with lots of tongue, all the time, everywhere.
Ceci – she/they, lesbian, cosmetology student and barista, 23
What’s your most controversial lesbian opinion? I don’t think lesbians should be friends with their exes. It’s case by case, but I feel like a lot of lesbians are friends with the most toxic exes ever, and then they continue to see and entertain them, even though they were evil, and I don’t think that’s okay.
What’s the most lesbian thing you’ve done this month? I went on a first date with a Hinge match last night, and then I went to Jacob Riis Beach today with that same person—we had a very cute 12-hour lesbian date. It was magical.
What’s your toxic trait in relationships? I have trust issues. It’s very hard for me to trust people, especially since I’ve been done really dirty in my past relationships, where I’ve been cheated on. So even when I’m casually dating somebody, I struggle to fully trust that person.
What lesbian artist are you most obsessed with right now? Young Miko! I’m Puerto Rican, so you know, I have to support—and she’s so f*cking hot. I’ve been listening to her since her SoundCloud days. I’m an OG fan. Young Miko, te amo.
Should couples share phone passwords? I think that if you start becoming suspicious of something, you should at least know the phone password. Especially if your gut is telling you to go through that phone, you better do it, baby. You’ll probably find something.
Who would you elect as lesbian president and why? Doechii. She’s so hot, and I think she’s doing amazing in the music industry as a queer woman of color. She’s breaking boundaries, and she’s so ridiculously talented. Literally checks off all the boxes.
Alice – she/her, queer, unemployed, 31
What lesbian fashion trend needs to die? The white [ribbed tank top]. A lot of straight girls are wearing them, so it’s time to hang it up, my fellow queers.
What was your lesbian awakening? Emma Watson in Harry Potter. She’s smart, she’s bossy, and she’s so pretty.
What’s your best tip for baby dykes? Go talk to women! Non-men usually hesitate because they’re afraid to talk to other sapphics—and it has to end.
What do lesbians & sapphics do better than anyone else? Sex, along with communication and teamwork. We tend to each other by sharing our secrets, our deepest thoughts—we know how to do vulnerability overall.
What’s a dating standard you refuse to lower? Just be a decent human being. Have kindness and social awareness. I value those things a lot.
Should couples share phone passwords? I need my autonomy—and I would expect my person to feel the same way. If we’re partners, then that means I trust you. That’s what a healthy relationship looks like to me.
Dior – she/her, lesbian, server, 22
What lesbian fashion trend needs to die? The femmes in the Adam Sandler fits—y’all gotta stop. We can’t be wearing the same fit. My pants falling, your pants falling—just no. Not for me.
What was your lesbian awakening? Wanda from The Bernie Mac Show. Give me a Wanda right now. Queen Latifah! I never could tell if I wanted to be her or be with her, but I need that. Tisha Campbell? Kim Whitley? Hell yes. And honorable mention: Dascha Polanco from Orange is the New Black. I need all of them in one room. Door closed.
What’s your best tip for baby dykes? Stay true to yourself. To my masc women, don’t let the expectations of being masculine control you. Take your time, take it slow. Don’t listen to any pressure. You still gotta be you. Don’t feel like you have to match the next masc, the next stud, to keep up.
What do lesbians & sapphics do better than anyone else? Have sex. And express ourselves through fashion. I feel like everyone’s style usually reflects their personality—you can see who they are through the way they dress.
What’s a dating standard you refuse to lower? We have to be friends before I’m comfortable enough to touch and caress you. So honestly, patience, and let’s get to know one another first.
Should couples share phone passwords? No, screw the passwords. Whatever is meant for you to see, you will see it one day, no matter what. You don’t need the passwords. That represents insecurity to me.
Ria – they/she, queer, data scientist, 24
What’s your most controversial lesbian opinion? If your fingernails aren’t cut and filed, don’t finger someone. Unfortunately, that’s happened to me way too many times.
What’s in your pocket? Purse? A joint, my little electric fan, lip gloss, and a Pepcid because I have acid reflux.
What do lesbians & sapphics do better than anyone else? We’re really good at being prideful about who we are. Existing as a queer person can be a lot, especially when you’re perceived as a woman, and if you’re not white, all of those identities intersect. You learn how to be intentional about who you are and how you move through the world.
What’s a dating standard you refuse to lower? You have to be romantic. I want the dates, the dinners with wine and candles, dancing in the kitchen—all of it. I want love to feel dreamy and whimsical. I’m not settling for anything less.
What’s your toxic trait in relationships? I’m quick to react and judge—which I’m working on. I have to remind myself to take a minute, step back, and actually assess. I also like to start mini arguments here and there. It’s intellectual stimulation. But it can’t be too serious. Just a “Why’d you leave the dishes out?!” moment, and then we make out.
What lesbian artist are you most obsessed with right now? I’ve always listened to Raveena. Fun fact: she follows me on Instagram. It’s my biggest flex. I began listening to her before she was big. So happy for where she’s at now.
