Whitney’s New Reality

Whitney Mixter’s new life has set her on a dramatically different path than when we were first introduced to her on “The Real L Word” in 2010. She no longer rocks her signature-length dreadlocks—a literal weight lifted off her shoulders.

Whitney and Sada still work together on many occasions, getting booked by lesbian promoters and event planners to host or make appearances, sometimes alongside other “Real L Word” stars. A recent gig even had the soon-to-be ex-wives sharing the same hotel room.

“One bed,” Whitney groaned. “I was like ‘Oh man, that’s fresh.’ But we made it work and we just try to be civil with one another, and that’s all you can do.”

Perhaps because they need to maintain a professional relationship, Whitney and Sada have been able to stay relatively friendly. Whitney asserted that they both still care for one another deeply and wish each other the best.

“We’re adults. You just have to remember we shared so much—so much history, so much sadness, loss, happiness,” Whitney said. “My life took a direction I didn’t think it was going to, but I’m definitely ready for a new chapter”

Whitney is having fun in her newfound singleness, but it’s not the same kind of carelessness she demonstrated when we first met her on “The Real L Word,” breaking girls’ hearts without a second thought about how they might feel in the moment or when they relived it again by watching the episodes on cable TV. And having revisited the series for the first time since it aired, Whitney said she was shocked by her own behavior.

“Seeing myself with Sada, I was trying to give myself advice: ‘Whitney, don’t do that! Hopefully it ends differently!’” she said. “I’ve changed so much. The one thing I am really grateful for in the whole process is you get a rare opportunity to see yourself back and use it as a personal growth tool—major. You see what you like and you see what you don’t like about yourself. A lot of times we see ourselves through a filter that is our own perception, obviously, but when you can watch it projected back to you, you realize the actual raw truth of yourself. Maybe you weren’t being so honest. Maybe you weren’t being so forthright or forthcoming. To see that, you’re like, ‘Wow, I want to be a better person.’”

PHOTO: CONNIE KURTEW

The focus is on herself right now, so even though Whitney has met some “amazing women” recently, she expressed no interest in another marriage anytime soon.

“Here’s the thing: I know that I need to 100 percent get back on track with my career and get so content on my path that I can be the best partner possible for the next person,” she said. “And I need to take a break, have fun and re-explore myself. It’s fun. I’m having fun right now. 2016 has been hard; 2017 is about to be the best year ever.”

Whitney is currently developing a series with her best friend (and “Real L Word” favorite) Alyssa Morgan. Called “The Wood,” Whitney and Alyssa play fictionalized versions of themselves in “real” situations. Originally slated to air as a web series, Whitney said she and Alyssa intend to make it a larger-scale project, coming early 2017. Up next, Whitney appears in Guinevere Turner’s short “Post-apocalyptic-tic Potluck” alongside“Transparent” scribe Ali Liebegott and Bridget McManus, as well as in an episode of “I Love Dick” from Jill Soloway and the tello Films series “Riley Parra.” In the meantime, Whitney will continue to throw parties for queer women and friends (including Kool-Aid and Hot Toddy in San Francisco), and she’s also still involved with real estate for Keller and Williams in the Hollywood Hills.

“I like to hustle; I’m a hustler,” Whitney said. “I’ve always been. I have my hands in a lot of pots, and I think that’s the best way to do things, is to work for yourself.”


What Do You Think?