Sometimes it’s just too hot. Too hot to go out. Too hot to do anything besides Netflix and chill. So crank up the air conditioning and fire up the TV. But with all the options, how does a lez choose what to watch? According to the zodiac, obviously.
Check out this guide to see which TV show you should check out based on your astrological sign.
Aries: Aggretsuko
Here’s a TV show that was made for you, Aries. Not only is it about a cartoon red panda who secretly hates her boss and loves j-metal, it’s done in episodes that are only 15 minutes long. We know you don’t have a long attention span and would rather do anything but sit on the couch watching TV for days, so here’s a show that you can enjoy in short spurts.
Retsuko navigates a office job with a misogynist boss, annoying coworkers, and the world at large by secretly going to a Karaoke bar to sing her heart out every night. Watch this show to see how she navigates everyday sexism, makes allies of women who intimidated her at first, and gets carried away on every impulse. Just like you, Aries.
Taurus: Evil Genius
We know how twisted you can be, Taurus. We also know that you need a good dose of reality in your TV. Evil Genius is not only a show about a bank heist, murder, and obsession, but it’s also about real life events. That’s right — everything in this docuseries happened.
Follow the story of a documentary maker who corresponded with famed criminal Marjorie Diehl Armstrong for years, uncovering a whodunnit that’s better than anything scripted.
Gemini: 3%
Watch this with subtitles, Gemini. We know that you may not have the patience for reading all the time but we also know that you’ll probably pick up a few words of Portuguese along the way. Give it a chance.
This Brazilian thriller reveals its dystopian world where the population must compete for resources that only 3% will receive in the end. With contestants undergoing a different challenge every episode, some of them deadly, this show will keep you on your toes.
Cancer: Fauda
We know you like dark TV shows, Cancer. None of that light and fluffy stuff for you — you need something that makes you sink your teeth in, a show full of character manipulations and emotionally intense drama. Fauda is the perfect show for you.
Fauda is a fictional story about a retired Israeli spy sent to assassinate a Palestinian leader. The story revolves around the characters’ families, the spy’s obsession, and carefully thought out maneuverings that keep you guessing. Get immersed in this show, Cancer, and you won’t forget it.
Leo: Don’t watch TV
Leo, it’s your time to shine. You need to be in the sun and at the beach. Take yourself out and celebrate life. Don’t watch TV — that stuff is for the winter. Enjoy the sunshine and recharge your Leo battery instead.
Virgo: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth
Virgo, it’s no secret you love to learn, you cute little nerd. As this docuseries describes him, Joseph Campbell is the teacher we all wish we had. If you like analyzing the basic building blocks of belief and fiction, Virgo, then take a look at this.
There are only 6 episodes, each about an archetype such as the hero, the sacrifice, love, and eternity. It’ll make you see life in a new way, Virgo, give it a shot.
Libra: Strong Girl Bong-Soon
This is a story about a girl who is so strong that she can stop a bus with just one hand. It’s also a story about societal expectations, female solidarity, and sexism. Did we mention that it’s also a love story? It is balanced and multi-faceted, just like you, Libra babe.
Bong-soon looks pretty and petite but she’s actually the bodyguard for Min-hyuk, a rich CEO of a gaming company. The two are constantly bickering because Min-hyuk doesn’t treat Bong-soon like the frail and delicate girl she very much wants to be. When Bong-soon’s powers become very much needed, however, she learns to value herself for not fitting into society’s expectations.
Scorpio: Mindhunter
This show is all slow burn. In fact, for a few of the first episodes, you may not even know what is going on. But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it, mysterious Scorpio? If you like characters that seem innocent but are actually deadly, themes of control, and psychological manipulation, Scorpio, then this is a show you’ve got to check out.
Mindhunter follows a young FBI agent who seems naive, but proves that he is anything but. In fact, he seems too normal, his motives too good, and his appearance too spotless. What’s lurking beneath? Slowly, he makes the field of criminal psychology his obsession to try to successfully bring serial killers to justice.
Sagittarius: Crazy Head
Starring Susie Wokoma, of Chewing Gum fame, Crazy Head is a laugh-your-pants-off comedy about a couple of demon hunters who have no idea what they’re doing.
The show starts off wild and just gets more extreme. Which you love, dear Sagittarius. Even in moments of extreme tension, Crazy Head is funny, unlike most horror shows. Being scared and laughing at the same time? Sounds right up your alley.
Capricorn: Blue Planet
We understand that you like to stay rooted in this world, Capricorn. Our Earth is miraculous and you’d be happy digesting facts about it all day. You want to learn something that makes good common sense, something that is real, and something that you can use.
Blue Planet is about the alien world that exists right here on Earth — our oceans. Every episode, from “Frozen Seas” to “Deep Trouble,” shows you beautiful footage of the different parts of the ocean. After watching this docuseries, you will come to understand our world like you’ve never before.
Aquarius: The Imitation Game
A movie about a lonely outcast who is also a genius? Extremely socially awkward but brilliant? Someone who appears arrogant but actually has the brains to back himself up? What about someone who is so closeted he never comes out?
If that all sounds familiar, Aquarius, then watch The Imitation Game. It’s based on a true story about Alan Turing, who invented the Turing machine during the Cold War. Turing’s genius doesn’t care about the everyday worries or concerns about status of his coworkers. He is only concerned with his projects — and he does something miraculous with them.
Pisces: Sense 8
We know that you can happily swim in fiction for days, weeks, or even months on end, Pisces. You need a show that is long, with a plot that keeps you guessing and characters who can empathize with. Sense 8 is that show.
Sense 8 is an urban fairy tale about 8 characters who are able to sense each other’s senses. Even if they are worlds away from each other, they all have a incredible intimacy with one another, almost like they’re in an eight way relationship. It’s a fandom with a huge number of fan fiction too, so once you finish the show, you can keep existing in its universe.
What Do You Think?