A List Of Things Queer Women Win At, According To Science

Get jealous or get with us.

Just a few weeks ago, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team (USWNT) beat the Netherlands to become the FIFA Women’s World Cup champions. Megan Rapinoe, the team’s captain, is one of a handful of queer women on the team, and she made it extremely clear just how much of the win was owed to the gays.

“You can’t win a championship without gays on your team. It’s never been done before—ever. That’s science, right there,” Rapinoe told the Guardian. “For me, to be gay and fabulous during Pride Month at the World Cup is nice.”

You heard the woman: you can’t win a championship without gays—that’s just science, baby! I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘Hey, why not?’ Well, the short answer is that we’re just better at everything. To give you proof, here’s a list of other things queer women in particular, win at, according to science. Get jealous or get with us.

1. Politics 

From Tammy Baldwin and Krysten Sinema in the Senate to Angie Craig and Katie Hill in the House of Representatives, queer women are stepping up to make sure we’re being heard in American politics. It can be terrifying to be an out queer woman just one the street, so I can only imagine what they see and hear as politicians. Regardless, they’re doing amazing things for our community and are continuing to fight for our rights.

2. Saving The World 

If you haven’t heard about Valkyrie, you’ve been living under a rock! “Thor: Love and Thunder” producer Kevin Feige recently confirmed that the “Thor: Ragnarok” character, played by Tessa Thompson, will be the first openly LGBTQ superhero in the MCU. Plus, Ruby Rose is currently filming a lesbian Batwoman! Don’t forget about Anissa on “Black Lightning!” Not like we didn’t already know how super queer women are.

3. Comedy 

Queer women are hilarious. That’s just objective. Ever heard of Fortune Feimster? Cameron Esposito? Patti Harrison? We’re just truly that funny. We headline tours, we sell-out shows, and we even have our own NYC Pride month event, Levity & Justice For All, dedicated to those belly laugh-inducing comediennes. Whatever it is that gives us queer women that comedy “it factor,” you’re certainly welcome.

4. Exploring Space 

Sally Ride was the first American woman in space. Not only did she complete that major feat, but it was discovered later that she was also the first LGBTQ person in space. Although she never got to go into space due to the explosion of the Challenger, she served as capsule communicator on the Apollo 1 and Apollo 11 missions as well as contributing a lot of science and technology knowledge to NASA during her tenure. You’re welcome for space, basically.

5. TV

Hello?! Have you seen “The L Word?” We are obsessed forever. And we get to live the lez magic all over again for a whole new generation of queer women with “The L Word: Generation Q.” Add a slew of other shows on top of that—”Orange Is The New Black,” “Steven Universe,” “Vida”—and you need nothing further to prove to you that queer women own TV.

6. Being Supermodels

First of all, all queer women are automatically ethereally gorgeous without even having to try. Of course, there are those who choose to share their beauty with the world and act as ambassadors to the straights. Women like Gia Carangi, Geena Rocero, Cara Delevingne, and Amber Rose are as open with their sexuality as they are with their beauty, and we’re proud to claim them as part of our community.

7. Literature 

No one knows how to craft a complex, intriguing, and attention-keeping novel like a queer woman. Maybe it’s our deep backstories, our long-lives dealing with our own feelings about our sexuality (as well as society’s), or our ability to understand people on an intense level. Whatever it is, queer women know how to create a story. Next time you’re looking for poetry that just innately gets you or for a YA book that grabs your attention and never lets go, make sure it’s written by a queer women. Trust me.

8. Just Being Great All-Around

There’s nothing a queer woman can’t do. Seriously. We’ve won World Cups. We’ve headlined stadiums. We’ve discovered scientific innovations. We’ve changed the world! It’s time to realize that the question isn’t “What are queer women good at?” Instead, it’s “What can’t queer women do?”

The answer? Nothing.


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