Okay lesbians, you have a very important mission ahead of you today, assigned by your favorite queer meme account and mine: @cubbyhoes. As I’m sure you have on your homosexual radar, the United States Women’s National Soccer Team is in NYC for their ticker-tape parade tomorrow. The goal for this evening? Get them to Cubbyhole. It’s simple: tag @uswnt @mrapinoe and @cubbyholebar in the Instagram post below.
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ATTENTION CUBBYHOES! @uswnt 🥇 is officially in NYC 🏙 WE NEED YOU 👋 to help us catch their eye and get them out to Cubby tonight! Tag @uswnt @cubbyholebar and AT LEAST @mrapinoe in the comments below and let them know YOU are waiting for a cubbyhole hoedown throwdown ToNiGhT!!!
How could Megan Rapinoe and her crew resists droves of hot lesbians asking them to come party at one of NYC’s most famous lezzie bars tonight? Cubby Tuesdays are already lit (every night at the Cubbyhole bar is TBH) and we can make history by getting the USNWT there TONIGHT. It is your civic duty to share this with every single person you know and get them to tag accordingly. Don’t you want to share a beer with the hottest champions in the world? I know I do. But scratch beer for a vodka soda.
While you’re fulfilling this life-or-death gay mission, be sure to give @cubbyhoes a follow for hilarious memes, general debauchery, and a daily laugh. And remember, your gay card is revoked if you don’t play your part in making history tonight! I don’t even LIKE sports and I’m doing my part. Even if you don’t know what USNWT stands for, I know that you like hot athletic girls, so just trust me on this. And tomorrow, be sure to celebrate this epic US win at 9:30 AM for the parade!