20 Things We Hope ‘The L Word’ Reboot Will Bring Back

THE SAME THEME SONG, PLEASE.

Photo by Showtime

By now I’m sure you know, my dear lesbian, that “The L Word” is officially coming back. For all of its problems (personally, I am so over talking about why things are problematic), “The L Word” was iconic AF and we have been ~starving~ for more lez content ever since! Here are 20 things I, a Jenny Schecter fangirl, hopes “The L Word” reboot will bring back from the original show. Yes, that includes Jenny from the dead.

1. A Shane-Carmen lap dance scene.

Not everything in “The L Word” stands the test of time, but this is still the sexiest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Here’s hoping “The L Word” reboot will deliver an equally as iconic sexy scene. We’re desperate over here!

2. A plotline as devious and ridiculous as Jenny killing a dog to get back at a bad book review.

Love her (like I do, fight me) or hate her, you have to admit that this was wildly entertaining, albeit insane and evil. “The L Word” reboot won’t be as good unless my homegirl Jenny is back from the dead, or there is a plot that is equally as f*cked up as dog murder. RIP Sounder.

3. A breakup as dramatic and absurd as Alice and Dana.

It wouldn’t be an iconic lesbian show without someone losing their mind post breakup. We’ve all been there, Alice. Okay, maybe not with a literal cardboard cut-out of our exes, but a proverbial cardboard cut-out.

4. NOT a soul-crushing death scene.

I still can’t listen to “You Are My Sunshine” without being triggered.

5. A melodramatic but v. beautiful montage of all the couples making out to Swimming Pool by Freezepop.

Try and tell me this scene isn’t beautiful. You can’t.

6. The Planet, or the equivalent to The Planet.

“The L Word” reboot won’t be the same unless all the characters start their morning at a lez coffee shop — and somehow never have to go to work.

7. A lesbian vampire sexologist.

Photo by showtime/ bettermost.com

Uta is hotter than Carmen. Sorry, not sorry.

8. Celebrity appearances.

I don’t know if I was more excited about Gloria Steinem or Peaches.

9. Jenny’s tripped out writing scenes.

Again, no Jenny and all her weird shit, no L Word.

10. Trans characters.

Please do better, L Word writers. I believe in you.

11. Nipple confidence.

12. More scissoring.

Please and thanks.

13. Another Shane/Cherie strap-on scene.

PLEASE AND THANKS.

14. More femme for femme relationships.

Photo by Showtime

PLEASE AND THANKS!

15. Diversity.

When asked about “inclusivity” Chaiken assured us it will be a huge priority saying that Ryan will be “going to talk about the world as it’s changed in these 10 years, the world as it is. My nascent representation of trans experience, my flawed and not-quite-enough representation of different cultures, all of that I think will be a more well-realized and fully realized the new L Word.”

16. Less biphobia.

The girls were so mean to Alice for being bi!

17. Helena… please???

So f*cking hot.

18. Will Angelica be a teenager?

Or will she conveniently disappear like she did whenever she wasn’t relevant to the plot?

19. No nonsensical murder plots.

Let’s pretend the whole sixth season didn’t happen.

20. Girls in tight dresses who drag with mustaches.

THE SAME THEME SONG, PLEASE.