personal essay

The orange to cancel the old blue of my chin. The concealer and all the cakey foundation I misapplied. I never got used to mascara. But now, looking at my eyes, lined and primed by my mother, I see myself.

A real love story doesn’t stop when the romantic love dissipates.

Only a fool would lie to Alice.

Kissing in the blue dark, drunk and I am seeing stars…

A coming-of-age story.

Did I make up all those intense feelings inside of my head?! What’s WRONG with me?!

FROM THE ARCHIVES: She gets excited and she says she can read auras. She says there’s a process to it. She lays me back on the bed and she tells me to close my eyes. I don’t know whether to believe her or not, but I’m pretty willing to do whatever she says.

At Jacob Riis beach, I feel less alone.

An unlikely love story.

As soon as that sweet little spring breeze makes its way through the static city sky and the air begins to smell like FLOWERS instead of SHIT — I’m totally and completely screwed.

But you still want to be *the* pretty girl.

A little bit of magic and a lot of 4 AM talks about feelings.

The worst thing that ever happened to me, EVER.

You might want to invite your next date over for an “L Word” and Chill session.

And now I’m in love with a dyke princess.

I love to dance for women who love women.

Had I really just had a dream about a GUY? 

After a lifetime of being a doormat, coming out seems combative.

I was in therapy, OK?

Everyone just assumed I had a new gal pal.

For she’s all you truly have.

#TMI: Can I go die now?

As a trans woman, denial and fear kept me from myself– but ads brought me closer.

I simply couldn’t stop myself.

I craved a “come to my window” kind of love.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Celebrating the legacy of the people who rioted empowers us to keep the fight alive.

I now realize that “gold star” lesbian isn’t a title that I need in order to finally feel “real.”

Spoiler Alert: I cried.

I used to hate it. Now I’m obsessed.

Labels can be both a lifeline and a death sentence.

Because it’s funny. Because it’s real. Because I’m not ashamed.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until I cracked.

Isn’t being a lesbian grand?

“Being queer and disabled intersects in all kinds of ways.”

It seemed impossible to find another girl like me.