U-Haul & Chill: Fun At-Home Date Ideas for Lesbians

It’s a classic lesbian tale: you meet the girl of your dreams, and after five dates, you realize you can’t live without her. The next step is to bridge the gap, whether that’s a few subway stops or a plane ride, and move in together. 

Congrats! You’ve fulfilled the biggest lesbian stereotype known as U-Hauling. Our sapphic tendency to shack up at lightning speed could have something to do with the emotional maturity of women or the fact that we don’t waste time with heteronormative relationship timelines. Maybe it’s because the cost of rent these days is so high – even straight couples are living together sooner than ever. 

Some researchers theorize that the “urge to merge” evolved from safety measures. In the early 20th century, when queer women were not able to be out publicly, many opted to move in under the guise of roommates to hide their relationship.

Regardless of factors that drove your decision to U-haul, moving in together is exciting.  The trick is to keep up that excitement. Planning fun and intentional dates at home can bring about more intimacy and closeness and keep things from feeling stagnant. 

Whether you’ve been cohabitating for six weeks or six months, here are some creative cozy at home date ideas for you and your partner.

Gay Film Festival 

Living together means countless nights scrolling through the Netflix home page, so why not get innovative? Make a list of the top five films that led to your gay awakenings. Watch every Kristen Stewart movie. Binge all the campy lesbian slashers you can find. Challenge yourself to find 5 lesbian period pieces that don’t involve a white couple with an age gap. 

Once you’ve picked out your movie list, it’s time to set the scene. I’m talking movie theater popcorn, dim lighting, and blankets on blankets. If your girlfriend is the type to fall asleep halfway through a movie, keep her awake with a trivia sheet about the production or a drinking game (every time two women stare longingly at each other, drink!). 

Memory Lane 

I’m sure you’ve stayed up late together talking about your childhoods, so dive deeper into your pasts together and recreate your favorite childhood memory – or create a reparative experience for one you wish was better. Pretend you took the bus home together, make a PB&J sandwich (without the crust, of course), and play video games. Nostalgia can spark new conversations with your partner about your upbringing in the safe space that is your home together. 

Over time you will make countless memories together, so take some time and reflect on where you came from to get to this point. 

24 Hour Read-A-Thon/Reading Retreat

For our lesbian literary fans, get comfy on your couch or bed and have a marathon reading day. 

One of the best things about moving in with a partner is the unlimited quality time you now have. You may think sitting and reading won’t bring you closer together, but enjoying someone’s company, even in silence, is a gift in a relationship. The act of moving can be stressful, so taking time to plan a calming activity may be just what you need.

Examine your newly combined bookshelf and tackle those books you’ve been meaning to read. You could start a novel together and discuss your thoughts in between breaks, or exchange one of your favorite books to get more insight on each other’s interests. Keep your endless sleepover vibes alive by pulling an all-nighter, or split the hours across the weekend.

This is the perfect activity for a rainy weekend, or those winter days when it’s too cold to go anywhere. Bonus points if you get your girlfriend’s favorite warm drink in a mug to sip.

Portrait Of A Couple Sitting Across From Each Other 

Grab some paint supplies, sit across from one another, and paint what you see. This can either result in undiscovered talent and adoration or a huge fight (our Executive Editor tried this and her partner said her rendering of them looked like a piece of Captain Crunch with eyes). To keep things fun, set a timer for 15–20 minutes, so there’s no pressure to make a perfect piece. What’s beautiful about this activity is that it’s not just about painting a likeness—it’s about interpreting how you see each other. Whether it’s a tender, detailed portrait or a bold, abstract splash of color, the result will be an intimate and personal reflection of your bond.

Regardless of how you spend time together in this next step of your relationship, embrace all the opportunities you have to create lasting memories. Don’t be afraid to try new things together, establish your own traditions, and take pleasure in the mundane of the everyday. Living together is about relishing the small moments.