Ask the Expert! Get Answers to Your Relationship Questions

Executive Matchmaker and Relationship Counselor, Carol-Sugar-Burke, offers expert love advice.

Dear Carol,

I have been dating someone I met online who lives in a different city. We’ve begun a long distance relationship and over the last six months I have gone to visit her four times, and she’s only been here to visit me in New York once. She always has an excuse and seems to be way too busy to even make the time to talk to me on the phone more than once a week. Most of our correspondence is via email or text, and I’m beginning to get very frustrated. I am wondering if this is not a very one-sided relationship. She seems to be able to make time for everything else in her life but me.


Dear Frustrated,

I have to be quite honest with you, and let you know that I would not consider this a relationship. You’ve begun dating someone who lives in a different city, but you have not begun a relationship. A relationship requires more than a once a week phone call and requires taking the effort to make the time for your partner. To begin with, long distance relationships are always more difficult, as you don’t get to meet each other when you’ve had a long day after work for a cocktail at your favorite local restaurant. It’s hard enough to only see each other once a month, without feeling like you’re the only one doing all the work. I would say it’s time to move on and look for a partner who is local and willing to put the same time and effort into a relationship as you are.

Remember, it takes two to build a relationship!

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