6 Books With Lesbian Characters Just As Messy As Your Ex

We need to talk about messy lesbian representation. Too often, media portrayals of lesbians revolve around men, external traumas like homophobia or war, or the same tired coming-out narratives. Recently, though, we’ve seen a new era of lesbian chaos: from Renee Rapp’s gloriously unfiltered interviews to the emotional rollercoaster that is The Ultimatum: Queer Love.

But where are the stories of out and proud lesbians, simply going through life, getting into trouble and dating all the wrong people?

If you’ve been waiting for stories that feel like your own life, here are some messy sapphics you might just see yourself in. We can’t promise you these gays won’t remind you of an ex-girlfriend or two.

Perfume and Pain by Anna Dorn

For fans of camp classics, Dorn brings her love of lesbian pulp fiction to life in this contemporary new release. In a character loosely based on the author, Astrid Dahl is a writer who spends her day in a mix of alcohol and pills, lovingly named the Patricia Highsmith after her favorite cult classic lesbian writer. Attempting to get back on her feet and in the public’s good graces after being #cancelled, she becomes enthralled by both her older next-door neighbor and a young grad student in her sapphic writers group. While indulging in all her vices, Astrid attempts to repair her career, fund her perfume addiction, and become your favorite chaotic femme.

Mostly Dead Things by Kristen Arnett

Proud Floridian and lesbian, Kristen Arnett’s 2014 novel is a family tale of mystery and gay longing. Set in the humid Florida swamps, our main character Jessa acts as the glue for her family after her father has committed suicide in the back room of the family’s business—a local taxidermy shop. Between her mother’s newfound love for grotesque art and her brother distancing himself, Jessa is racked with feelings for Brynn, her sister-in-law. But Brynn has walked out of the Morton family during this tragedy, and Jessa has too many unanswered questions about their relationship. Mostly Dead Things begs to find answers amidst not having closure. 

Chelsea Girls by Eileen Myles

Poet and author Eileen Myles is no stranger to being a chaotic lesbian. Her novel chronicles the wildest, unabashed adventures in the 1970s. Raised in a Catholic household in Massachusetts, Myles fled to New York to make it as a poet, searching for meanings only the city could provide her. Filled with off-and-on-again girlfriends, odd jobs to make ends meet, and endless drunken nights, Chelsea Girls is a notorious piece of lesbian literature detailing the artists’ lifestyle. 

Experienced by Kate Young

Australian author Young gives us a wholesome, tangled web of sapphic dating in this novel from the perspective of a newly out bisexual woman. Bette is approaching thirty and is enjoying her first queer relationship with a woman named Mei, who offers to put their new relationship on hold for Bette to experience all the queer sex she missed out on in her early twenties. Why settle down instantly or open up your relationship when you could give your girlfriend an unlimited hall pass for six months? While Bette is in love and plans to return to Mei easily, she opens herself up to new dates and casual sex with women for the first time. She totally won’t meet anyone else who catches her eye…she hopes. 

A Good Happy Girl by Marissa Higgins

In this debut novel, we follow lesbian lawyer Helen, who is spiraling and barely coping, after an unearthed crime has sent her parents to prison. What better way to occupy these feelings than falling into the arms of a woman? Or multiple women? Between the young office assistant at her job and a married lesbian couple whose idea of intimacy is all-consuming, Helen makes a string of bad decisions all in the name of grief. 

Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austin

Emily Austin is cementing herself as thee contemporary messy author, writing books for the lesbians who haven’t made their bed in weeks and hide away in their apartments to avoid running into exes. In her debut novel, our main character Gilda is painfully introverted, holding onto obsessive feelings about death that she cannot seem to pinpoint its source. When a misunderstanding gains her a job as a local church’s receptionist, she becomes enthralled in a mystery of the woman who used to hold the position. In all this, she is discovering how to open up to her first-ever girlfriend, who she can’t believe actually likes her back. Everyone In This Room has a soft spot for sensitive queer girls who have to try twice as hard to make themselves heard.

It doesn’t matter if your ideal chaotic lesbian has unwashed hair from a night out or too many nights in; we accept messy main characters in all forms. We applaud these authors for bringing us honest portrayals of young gay women forward in the publishing industry.