INTERVIEW: Lea DeLaria Gets Real About Her Original Work For YouP*rn’s Erotica Library

“I love to collect vintage Playboy and I still jerk off to them.”

Lesbian icon Lea DeLaria is among the creative voices whose work is now featured on YouPorn – just in time for Valentine’s Day! The “Orange is the New Black” star is one of numerous artists and creatives who have contributed original work for the one-year anniversary of Erotica, YouPorn’s platform for written material. 

“From the second I walked out onto the stage as “That Fucking Dyke” to the moment Big Boo MacGyvered a screwdriver into a dildo, my career has always been about butch visibility and getting laid … not necessarily in that order,” said DeLaria in a statement put out by the platform. “Let’s face it, I’m here to put the sex back in homosexuality.”  

YouPorn, a video-sharing platform which first launched in 2006, added the Erotica category last year to expand its content beyond the visual realm and offer readers a more immersive experience.

DeLaria’s feature, “Muff Diva,” a humorous commentary on how she became a fan of pornography, along with other original works, is now available in the Erotica library.  GO had the pleasure of chatting with Lea last week about “Muff Diva,” porn, vintage Playboy, strap-on etiquette, and “polishing the penny.” 

GO Magazine: When reading “Muff Diva,” I think a lot of us were surprised to learn that a sexual icon like yourself didn’t discover porn until you were 18. So what was your sexual experience like before then?

Lea DeLaria: Well, at the time, I lived in a bedroom with my sisters, so there wasn’t a lot going on. And there were teenage boys, so they were in the bathroom. There just wasn’t a lot going on. I snuck out of the house a lot starting at about the age of 16, and found a local dyke bar with a fake ID. So that’s where I had most of my fun. I mean, I knew porn existed. But it was just like, I didn’t know where I was gonna get it, or how I was going to get it. I was very clear about that in the beginning of [Muff Diva]. I was born in 1958. And believe me, it was all different. 

GO: Tell me if this question is too grad-school-gender-studies for you, and I’ll skip it. But I’m curious what similarities you see between the male gaze and the dyke gaze. You had mentioned that you were into Playboy and Hustler, magazines traditionally for men. One of the first published essays I wrote was about how I used to masturbate to my dad’s dirty magazines. And I was not prepared for how many times I would be called a misogynist. 

LD: Then you don’t know your people. I’m sorry. You’re surprised? You’re surprised they called you a misogynist? Well, I mean, after all the times I’ve been called just sexist by the lesbian community…

GO: Well, yes, one of the reasons you’re one of my idols, but– 

LD: You know, I mean, I make it very clear in the article that I watch gay male [porn] because I just think it’s hotter. It’s sexier. And I’m not [a] big fan of straight [porn] for the various reasons that I gave you in the essay. But when I did find that that’s what I would jerk off to, were these magazines, and they were my brothers’ [magazines]. So it’s very similar to what your story is. You know what I mean? And then by the time I discovered lesbian porn, I mean, I was well in my 20s. And it was just horrible. And again, I wrote about that. I remember one that I once saw called “The Apartment.” I don’t know if you ever saw this one. And basically, what it was was there was an apartment that was available – [the movie] was made by someone in San Francisco, so it was definitely shot on Castro Street. But you can only use the apartment once. You had to leave the key [after you were done]. It was very strict. That was truly hot. It’s one of the only lesbian-for-lesbian-made porn I’ve ever seen where I can say: truly, truly hot.

GO: A lot of straight women will say that they prefer lesbian porn, and there’s so many theories as to why sometimes we’ll be into porn that doesn’t necessarily line up with our sexuality. Much like your personal experience with preferring gay male porn – that opens up why a lot of straight women, like, go bananas for lesbian porn when they’re in little bunny suits with fake boobs and nails and– 

LD: I say that in the article that’s just an infection waiting to happen. Yeah, no, no, hate it. Yeah. Can’t do it. Can’t do it. And the straight lesbian porn is just evil. It’s just the worst. So um, yeah. No, thanks. I watched ‘The Secretary’ last night. Right? I hadn’t seen it in a long time. So I watched it. It’s really hot. Yeah, very. It’s still very sexy. You know, it still has all that going for it. I have aggressive sex. Everyone knows that. But I don’t really watch BDSM porn.

GO: Yeah. It’s very interesting. Your quote from the YouPorn press release stated, “Let’s face it. I’m here to put the sex back in homosexuality.” Do you feel that dyke culture has gotten sanitized and sexless? 

LD: YES. 

GO: Can we talk about that a little bit?

LD: Sure. About that. This is not the first time this has happened. When I came into the dyke community in the 80s, when it became more prominently known in the queer community in the 80s, everything about it was so political. It was so– you know, aggressive. It was so feminist, that they just forgot that the reason we’re here is because we don’t fuck men. Then in the 90s, we became very aggressive sexually. We really got back into that. And then, as the turn of the century has happened, and we’ve become more politicized as a queer community, I think it’s happened to lesbians again, where they’ve just lost the, you know, the thing. Yes, you know, this is the thing. This is why society hates you. Right? Yeah, it’s because you’re fucking women. So let’s have less conversation about how to spell ‘woman’ and more about fucking women.

GO: What is your ideal porn scenario? Are you serious about collaborating with YouPorn about making lesbian porn?

LD: I’m dead serious. I would be so down for that. Let’s be clear, right here. I love to collect vintage Playboy and I still jerk off to them. What do we call that by the way? You know what I mean? Guys jerk off. So what do we do? I’ve always kind of liked polishing the penny. 

GO: DJ clittles on the 1s and 2s. 

LD: Basically, yeah, when I masturbate I call it ‘the end of the day.’ [YouPorn] only wanted like, 1000 words. And I ended up turning in well over 1600 and I could have written a whole lot more. I’m like, “You guys, maybe this should be a monthly thing. Little sex column for y’all.”

GO: You have to give the people what they want.

LD: Absolutely. And I got plenty of jokes about sex.

GO: How do you feel about the terms “top” and “bottom?”

LD: Very comfortable. What about this doesn’t say very comfortable with top and bottom? 

GO: Do you prefer erotica or porn? 

LD: I definitely prefer erotica. I’m okay with porn. Yeah, but like I said, I jerk off to vintage Playboys. 

GO: What was your favorite sex scene to shoot in your acting career? A particular scene with a super hot femme riding your strap in ‘Orange Is The New Black’ comes to mind for me.

LD: That’s it. That super hot femme riding my strap in ‘Orange Is The New Black.’ I got to pick– it was really funny because they had a whole bunch of dicks there. I called it the Dick Army. So out of the army I was supposed to pick out which one. We actually used my actual strap for that scene. I wonder if I’m allowed to say that. I think I am. But we couldn’t use any of my cocks for some reason. Some weird – like health and safety. And so they have this dick army for me to choose from. And I looked at them. I looked at them and was like, “These are way too small,” because you know, I’m Sicilian here, right. Meanwhile, Lauren Morelli, who wrote the episode looks at them and says, “You can use any one but not this one because that’s ridiculous. It’s far too big.” So I guess I learned more about Lauren than she wanted me to know. Without a doubt, it was the hottest, hottest ever – make out, kissing, anything – scene I’ve ever done. I thought they did a fantastic job. I was very pleased. And the people I heard from seemed to really like it. I mean, wasn’t she so– ?

GO: Yeah, she was gorgeous. That scene was so hot. Did you play a role in crafting that scene and kind of guiding it along? How to make it more realistic?

LD: They wanted me to put the strap on over my underwear. Which I fought against. I was like, “No, that’s not what we do.  You have consultants for everything else in show business. If it’s a military scene, you have a military consultant, if it’s a Russian scene, you have a Russian consultant. You know, if it’s a dyke thing, you should have a dyke consultant. And you know who that would be? Me. So I think you should listen to me when I say I can’t put this on over my underpants. Nobody does that.” And they were like, “Just because you don’t do it doesn’t mean nobody does it.” I was like, “Yeah, actually, nobody.” So basically, they were, they just wanted to be sure it was seen. And so I said, “Well, then, I’ll be naked.” They were like, “What?” And I went, “That’s unusual, too. But it’s more common than the thing that you’re asking me to do that nobody does. Right?” That’s how I had input. Because most butches can orgasm. [The actor] also had input in terms of her position. She was like, “If I’m going to come, I need to be in this position.” I was 100% agreeing with her. So that was interesting. It was fun, too.

GO: What is the best lesbian sex advice you would have for baby dykes who maybe are turning to porn right now and are not really getting what they’re looking for? 

LD: Go to a dyke bar, pick up a girl, and fuck her. 


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