Love Dr. Dating Game Show: Pride Edition

WELCOME TO THE MAIN EVENT AT THE MEADOWS BROOKLYN!

First things first. Listen to the three H’s. Say it with me: HUNGRY, HAPPY, HORNY. Let’s go!

Come HUNGRY. FOODS ON US! That’s right. Foods included in your ticket. We‘re Italian, we love to feed you. Have a piece of sangweech (yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean…sandwich), it’s from Anthony and Son Panini Shoppe! Come lick the icing off a cupcake, from Special~T Sweets. Of course it has a cherry on top! But make sure to leave room for a gawgesss rainbow cookie from Fortunato Bros Bakery.

Come HAPPY. If you’re miserable, do me a favor and stay the f home! Purchase a drink at the bar and head outside to buy a J from Rick Fries. Don’t have rolling papers? No problem. I know a guy. Don’t know how to roll? My guy knows a guy. Buy some raffle tickets for our sexy, kinky, GAWGESSS gift baskets. Madonne Mia, you have no idea! So get down here wit your friends cause you neva know whose gonna walk through that door. And then I don’t wanna hear you crying, “ahh I shoulda came!”

Come HORNY. Ya heard me?! We’re kicking off our event with the one and only, Vaeda Black. Her burlesque performance…fuhgeddaboudit! And once Vaeda Black is done wit you, you’ll be all nice n juicy (WHAT?! I don’t know what to tell ya…you will…), juicy for our bachelorette, the GODDESS Michelladonna. And our gawgesss contestants of course!! So let’s get this MFing show on the road!

Uuff, we‘ve already told you too much. Leave me alone! Don’t aggravate my condition! You’re just gonna have to come to the show to see which contestant steals Michelladonna’s heart…& her pussycat. Meow.