Brit Launches BFF Social Club – To Build A World Where No Lesbian Feels Like The “Odd One Out”
Through thoughtfully curated spaces where lesbians can form genuine friendships, Emilie van der Gronden creates experiences where women build connections without the pressure of dating or fitting into cliques.
Featured Image: courtesy of Emilie van der Gronden
When Emilie van der Gronden broke up with her girlfriend two years ago, she found herself “being a bit lonely.” Suddenly, she was in the market for new friends – queer friends specifically. There wasn’t much happening in her English hometown of Bristol, but she had heard about organized events in London, and decided to make the trip. She loved what she saw – women getting together to talk about engineering, arm wrestle or just enjoy some friendly chaos… “It was really like coming home,” the Brit tells GO.
So when a friend suggested she do something similar in Bristol, van der Gronden took the challenge. She put a dinner together for 12 lesbians – all women who didn’t know each other. Next time, she had 25. She was surprised at the number of sign-ups, some making the hour-drive from Wales.
“That is just evidence of how big of a gap there is of initiatives like this,” says van der Gronden who “noticed a lot of women put a lot of effort in dating, but not necessarily in seeking friendships.” When she announced a hiking outing in Wales on Instagram, it “went completely viral” and sold out instantly. Her following sky-rocketed to 10,000, and with friendship-first as driver, BFF Lesbian Social Club was born.
Van der Gronden started putting on monthly events. Soon, she had 90-100 lesbians attending.
“I had quite a clear idea in mind that I absolutely did not want it to be in a basement… I wanted the standard to be high. People enjoyed ice breakers like pub games – pool, table tennis or darts… if they’re maybe a little bit shy, it helps people come out of their shell, and it brings the personalities out.”
A biotech engineer by trade, around this time, van der Gronden, now 32, was also trying to figure out what to do with her life. “And I kept coming back to getting so much purpose from organizing these events, because I just really saw how much impact it has on people.” She took time off to travel, “did a lot of soul searching” and studied marketing. Since January of this year, she’s ramped up the effort with an eye toward making it her full-time job.
Today, BFF hosts monthly events in Bristol and surrounding areas – from intimate evenings of wine and conversation, to energetic pub nights with lots of laughter and a bit of friendly competition, to relaxed country walks. With demand ever-growing – including from lesbians from the United States – Van der Gronden has expanded offerings to other European locals including 3-night retreats in the Welsh fresh air to be shared amongst 12 lesbians. For August, she’s organized a 5 day/4 night retreat off the coast of Spain featuring time on the sea aboard a catamaran, tours of local cities, yoga, and a private chef.
With many women now approaching van der Gronden to organize events in their cities, she has an eye for geographic expansion, even as she continues to organize events, retreats, and an online community envisioned as a global home for those without access to lesbian community or in places that are not queer-friendly.
“The vision is to build a world where no lesbian feels like the ‘odd one out,’ but instead knows and feels the power of finding others who share her thoughts and experiences.”
image via BFF Lesbian Social Club Instagram
