In case you missed it, this past month, Amber Rose clapped back at Kanye West on Twitter, resulting in the trending hashtag #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch. Needless to say, the Internet lost its mind and responded with millions of comments, memes and think pieces. #KanyeAnalPlaylist was trending three days later (that’s like a millennium on the Internet).
Rose’s hashtag went viral because of the homophobic sentiments in our culture. She was trying to emasculate West and embarrass him. We shouldn’t be praising Rose as the #ClapBackQueen because the idea that one must be queer to enjoy penetration is reductive and puts QTPOC in harm's way.
In the hetero world, ass play is linked with queerness, specifically queer men and transgender women. It’s seen as feminine, deviant, and, thus, “less than.” These notions are homophobic and misogynistic. Sexual behaviors do not define a person’s sexual identity. Enjoying receiving sexual pleasure – including penetration, anally or vaginally – is not connected to gender or sexuality.
Our culture is steeped in social constructs around sexual roles. F* that. Be you and do what feels good. We as a society are becoming more critical of these roles and introducing new social mores all the time. Rewrite them and do what works. Penetration doesn’t make someone any more or less masculine. Anal play and penetration can be fun for people of all gender expressions. The one good thing about Amber Rose’s trending clapback is that it has contributed to a broader conversation revolving around black masculinity, queerness and sexual satisfaction. Challenging constructs leads to a more open dialogue in society.
Diversifying your sex life makes for more interesting experiences. If you’re thinking about exploring any kind of vulnerable play make sure you’re checking in with your partner to ensure you’re still on the same page throughout your play session.
Meg Ten Eyck is a fun loving and feisty LGBT advocate and community educator. Her blog Dopesontheroad.com is among the most popular lesbian travel and culture blogs on the internet. Have questions for her? Email her at Meg@dopesontheroad.com.