Wingnut Lawmaker: Girl Scouts is a Lesbian Cult

“Come to the Dark Side—we have cookies”

“Come to the Dark Side—we have cookies” is more than an Internet meme featuring Cookie Monster referencing a Star Wars line. Indiana lawmaker Bob Morris, a Republican, says the Girl Scouts—and its delicious Trefoils—is also a “radical” organization that promotes feminism, abortion and homosexuality (heavens, clutch your pearls!).

Morris refused to sign a proclamation honoring the Girl Scouts’ centennial in February because, “after talking to some well-informed constituents, [he] did a small amount of web-based research” and he didn’t like what he saw. In a letter to lawmakers published in the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette, Morris said, “many parents are abandoning the Girl Scouts because they promote homosexual lifestyles. In fact, [in] the Girl Scouts education seminar girls are directed to study the example of role models. Of the fifty role models listed, only three have a briefly-mentioned religious background—all the rest are feminists, lesbians or Communists.” It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.

OK, it’s definitely funny. Morris is being roundly ridiculed for his silly comparisons—even by members of his own party. Morris has said that he’s sticking by his statement, and has even gone so far as to remove his (poor, confused) daughters from the Scouts. “My family and I took a view and we’re sticking by it. My girls are no longer Girl Scouts. They’re now going to join American Heritage Girls,” Morris told the Associated Press.

In contrast to the feminist hotbed that is the Girl Scouts, American Heritage Girls was founded in 1995 by parents in Ohio who “want a wholesome program for their daughters,” since the Girl Scouts accepted lesbians as troop leaders, allowed girls to substitute another word more applicable to their belief for “God” in the promise, and allegedly banned prayer at meetings. We wonder what their cookies taste like.

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