UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 5:56PM
Wolf Blitzer just let Corey Lewandowski openly spew Trump’s “drain the swamp” canned line right on the air. Good job on hiring someone so thoroughly divorced from the campaign, CNN!
I think we might be done with updates from CNN.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 5:54PM
MSNBC “National” exit polling:
Black voters: 8% Trump; 87% Clinton
Hispanic voters: 27% trump; 65% Clinton
Voters under 30: 54% Clinton
OK, yeah, we’re not learning a lot from exit searching of exit polls. Except that this election’s coverage on MSNBC is what I imagine meth feels like.
Fox coverage feels more like when you’re in a hospital hallway having hopeful conversations outside of someone’s room.
So far I have not seen any CNN holograms. WHERE ARE MY DAMN HOLOGRAMS?!
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 5:42PM
The exit polls are telling us nothing we didn’t know… Except that 20% of voters polled so far are under 20. That’s impressive.
…And we’re in the place where everyone is guessing but no one has anything but exit polls and bags of air to look at.
All we can do is watch and wait and theorize.
I predict a LOT of children born 9 months from now.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 5:29PM
New numbers coming in from national exit polls:
White voters, no degree: Trump 65%, Clinton 29%
White female voters: 51% Clinton
54% of voters exit polled approve of President Obama.
54% of voters oppose border wall. Which is good because it is a racially charged, unbuildable fiction.
17% of voters are over 65.
31% of exit polled voters are Republicans
44% exit polled have favorable opinions of Clinton
37% exit polled have favorable opinions of Trump
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 5:18PM
Well, this is interesting.
Voting officials in Pennsylvania are trying to get the alleged broken/Pro-Hillary voting machines to reproduce the reported errors… And can’t.
Could be just tricky machines. Could be organized false reports in a huge-vote swing state in an attempt to snarl the process, increase lines, and discourage voting.
Everybody be cool.
Remember to bring pizza to loved ones in long lines.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:59PM
The New York cemetery where Susan B. Anthony is buried is extending its hours today because so many people are coming to put “I Voted” stickers on her grave.
No, YOU’RE getting all misty about the election.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:50PM
According to MSNBC, 38% of Latinx voters who participated in Florida early voting this year had NEVER voted in an election before.
Trump may have shot himself in the foot, punched himself in the nards, and dropped a banana peel at the head of his own staircase.
This may finally be the year that politicians stop running campaigns entirely designed to scoop up white racists.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:48PM
There are five — at this writing possibly six — PA counties with reports of malfunctioning voting machines.
The voters are claiming that they touch Trump and get Clinton.
I have worked Election Protection efforts and it is tough as hell to get election officials to take malfunctioning voting machines down.
An extra wrinkle is that the PA machines don’t have paper backups, which means voters would need to use provisional ballots. That means a slower count, but not the end of the world. On the other hand, if you were around for the 2000 election, those slow counts in swing states can be a little crazymaking.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:30PM
Trump is not so much a golden boy in his home voting district.
Note: Some reporters are calling this cheering. Again, your call.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:28PM
Given Pence’s approval rating in his home state, let’s hope he has some good hobbies lined up.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:05PM
Apparently some high school students who are too young to vote but have had enough of Donald Trump and racial profiler extraordinaire Sheriff Joe Arpaio have walked out of class to protest and canvass.
In fact, they are marching with an effigy of Arpaio. Thank heaven for homecoming float building skills.
At this writing the walkout was in two different high schools. We imagine numbers will change as Snapchat gets fired up.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 3:00PM
North Carolina is a very contested state and the voting is hot and heavy.
Which is interesting, since the North Carolina GOP put on such a massive voter suppression effort — directly aimed at black voters — that a federal judge described it as something out of 1901.
The NC GOP actually sent out a press release about how much lower the numbers for early voting among black voters are this year.
The official party line is that this isn’t horrifyingly racist because they’re not targeting black voters because they’re black; just because black voters tend to vote Democratic. You can decide for yourself whether that logic passes the smell test.
Other strategies for having not so many black votes for Democratic candidates could have included listening to black voters, addressing their needs, and not subverting fair elections with race-targeting suppression efforts, but to each his own, I guess.
If you’re in North Carolina and know someone who couldn’t vote early because of long lines, I have word that covering shifts and giving rides gets you extra points in the paradise of your choice today.
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 1:47PM
Trump is feeling butthurt about the early voting Friday night in Clark County, Nevada in (Surprise!) a Hispanic neighborhood.
Nevada is a crucial swing state, so the Trump campaign is trying to invalidate some votes. The Trumples are claiming that the polls stayed open too late.
The law is that anyone who was in line at the time when polls are to close gets to vote, no matter how long that takes. The Trumpling folks are claiming that poll workers allowed people to keep getting in line after closing, based on, as far as I can tell so far, some strong suspicious feelings.
Other things Trump could have tried to have not so many Latinx votes against him in Nevada:
• Running a competent campaign in the state
• Not calling Mexican immigrants rapists and drug addicts by way of launching his campaign
• Not screaming about building an unbuildable science fiction wall at every campaign stop
• Not whipping his followers into racist frenzies.
Just a few thoughts, Trump Pals!
NOVEMBER 8, 2016 at 1:15PM
You may think that we can’t see any results until the polls close, but that’s not quite true this year. Early voting kicked some serious ass this year. I just listened to an MSNBC reporter sat that close to 40% of Florida voters went, appropriately enough, for the Early Bird special. And an overwhelming number of Hispanic Nevada voters lined up over the weekend in a way that does not bode well for Mr. Trump in that state.
Pro tip: Maybe don’t call an entire group of people rapists on the first day.
Overall, more than 46 million early votes are already in, with more still to count. It’s not a guarantee in this heavily emotional nutball election, but as a rule, early voting is good news for Democrats.
That, by the way, is why Republican legislatures in Ohio, Nebraska, and numerous other states made it harder to vote early this year, with fewer polling places, more ID hurdles, and much longer lines. If you think that sounds like a ratball democracy-undermining thing to do, you would be correct. Which is why we all need to pay attention to those down-ballot votes.
There are, however, some real closed-poll results to report. New Hampshire, bless their eccentric Northeastern hearts, allows for towns of fewer than 100 people to open their polling places at midnight on Election Day and close them and tally up as soon as everyone has voted. Hillary Clinton won in Dixville Notch and Hart’s Location, but Donald Trump took Millsfield in a landslide, 16-4.
If you add up all three towns, Trump is ahead overall, 32 votes to Clinton’s 25. Gary Johnson picked up a surprisingly robust 3, while Bernie Sanders, John Kasich, and Mitt Romney all got write-ins.
Yes, New Hampshire is messing with us. If you haven’t already, get out there and vote.