Ask the Expert! Get Answers to Your Relationship Questions!

Executive Matchmaker and Relationship Counselor, Carol Sugar-Burke, offers expert love advice.

Dear Carol,

I am a beautiful, intelligent woman who has a great career, an amazing home and really I am blessed with a wonderful life. The only thing that holds me back is I suffer from being “shy”. When a woman I am attracted to makes eye contact I tend to look away or walk in the other direction when I am being approached. Every time I am somewhere that I see someone I am attracted to I never seem to be able to get up the courage to approach her. Do you have any tips or pointers you can suggest to help me get over this?

Sincerely,

Shy

Dear Shy,

Understanding that you are shy and wanting to work on it is the first step in gaining the confidence to get past this. As you mentioned you are a beautiful, woman who is confident and comfortable in every other aspect of your life and just struggles with getting past the anxiety of that first date. When you decide to approach someone do it with the same ease and confidence you would approach a potential business acquaintance. When you approach someone don’t look at it as they are going to evaluate you to see if you measure up but; look at it as you are evaluating them to see if they measure up to your requirements. You have made eye contact; the attraction is there; don’t use your shyness as a weakness but be upfront and let them know you are shy from the get go. This can be an alluring attractive trait if you are upfront about it. As soon as you have gotten over addressing it you will feel a sense of relief and before you know it you will be yourself and the conversation will be flowing. The first date will be just around the corner.

Remember you can turn any weakness into a strength by dealing with it head on and facing your fears!

Best,

Carol

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