What is Spooky Season without a pumpkin-carving party? It’s one of my personal favorite parts of Halloween. I never carved pumpkins as a kid, so I only began this tradition as an adult. Yes, I missed out on all the childhood nostalgia, but also, I’ve always gotten to carve whatever TF I want into my pumpkins: pretty stuff, funny phrases, literally whatever. If I wanna make the gayest pumpkin that I can possibly think of, I CAN DO THAT. And so can you. Yay, adulthood!
There are many reasons to make a lesbian/gay/queer jack-o-lantern. One: Halloween happens to be a super gay holiday. It’s one of the few times of year that we can dress however we want and be our weirdo queer selves in peace, because everyone else is doing the same thing too. It’s Gay Christmas, so what better time to be ~out and proud~?
Two: There’s a lot to be said for being as visibly queer as you possibly can. You never know, a baby dyke might be walking past your house and have her Spontaneous Gay Awakening, all because you took the time out to be vocal and proud of your identity.
Three: Do you really need an excuse to carve boobs onto a pumpkin? Come on now.
Without further ado, here are 11 jack-o-lantern designs that will leave NO doubt in your neighbors’ minds that you are incredibly gay, from the very tame to the wildly inappropriate.
The Lesbian Symbol
First and most straightforward is the actual lesbian symbol, which is just two female symbols interlocking together. This is pretty simple in terms of both design and concept; only your most clueless neighbors will miss the message that, hi, you are a big ol’ lesbian.
If you aren’t into the traditional female symbols, you could also use some of the newer symbols to indicate your gayness. Maybe the symbol for queer or the bisexual symbol or the genderqueer symbol or the trans symbol or the non-binary symbol or ANY OF THEM — there are so many!
A Pink Triangle
The upside-down pink triangle is another classic gay/lesbian symbol. “But ma’am,” you may be thinking, “pumpkins are orange, so how can I make a pink triangle jack-o-lantern?” WELL, all you have to do is grab some pink acrylic paint and a paintbrush. First, carve the triangle out of the pumpkin, then paint the rest pink. Another idea is to avoid the carving bit entirely and just paint the whole pumpkin pink and leave a triangle made of negative space.
An Equal Sign
The equal sign is the logo of the Human Rights Campaign and has become an iconic symbol of LGBTQ+ rights. To make this work, you’ll need to add a bit of color. You could go with a blue and yellow theme like the actual logo. Or you could make a pink equal sign or rainbow!
Speaking of rainbows! I don’t know about you, but I sometimes get a little bored of the whole rainbow thing —and maybe you’re tired of it too — but hear me out, rainbows and pumpkins go really well together because there are so many creative ways to combine the two. You could paint the entire rainbow onto one pumpkin, buy seven miniature pumpkins and paint one each color of the rainbow, or get even more creative. How about a pumpkin with rainbow hearts all over it? Or a melted crayon rainbow pumpkin, or a rainbow fire pumpkin, or this jack-o-lantern that’s barfing up a rainbow (it’s cooler than it sounds)? The world is your oyster.
Scissors are both Halloween-y and a classic lesbian motif. One pair of scissors is fine if you want to be subtle (people might think it’s a reference to Us). Two pairs of scissors and you’re firmly in “gay AF” territory. This may be a little complicated to actually carve out of a pumpkin, but I believe in you. Something like this flash tattoo design would be perfect!
I’m envisioning a jack-o-lantern with two fingers on it, and the fingers are covered in blood — an ode to the season’s spooky vibes and an ode to period sex. If you can pull this off, PLEASE send photos.
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As you know, cats are a gay stereotype for multiple reasons: lots of queer women love cats and also cats are a euphemism for vaginas. Cats also happen to be a Halloween thing. Ergo, you could carve or paint a cat onto your jack-o-lantern! You could do a cat face or an entire cat body, like this impressive design.
boobs on a jackolantern pic.twitter.com/OMqBTMMH43
— jon @kittyhawkio 🚀 (@hegranes) October 14, 2013
Boobs! Need I say more? They tend to be one of a lesbian’s main interests in life. You can’t get any gayer than boobs. Moreover, it is surprisingly easy to carve a pair of boobs into a pumpkin, especially if you keep it simple like the design here. If your neighbors have kids, maybe rethink this idea, IDK.
While you’re at it, why not carve a butt into the pumpkin?? When you think about it, pumpkins kind of have a butt-esque shape, what with the roundness and the cracks (lol). Again, not the most family-friendly design out there, but it IS absolutely absurd and hilarious. If you get a pumpkin with the right shape, you could even, um, put a pair of underwear on it and call it a day?
— Sexpression KCL (@SexpressionKCL) October 31, 2013
Help, I’m getting out of hand! These suggestions are getting less and less appropriate. But hey, we’re already here. If you love vulvas, why not carve a very geometric and artsy vulva into your pumpkin?
Literally the words “I’m Gay AF”
If none of these ideas are quite gay enough for you, you could always carve the literal words “I’m Gay AF” into your pumpkin. That will absolutely send an unambiguous message to anyone who walks by your house. Or you can write the announcement of your choosing. Maybe, “BOO, I’m a dyke,” “Happy Homoween,” or just the word “QUEER” in giant letters.